babyfever - I have seen a few of your posts over the past few weeks so it makes me really sad to be reading this one today.
Life is just cruel sometimes. I've had 2 x m/c and it is just something that no-one should have to go through. For me the pain will always be there but I have just learnt how to cope from day to day. My first m/c was nearly two years ago and I still get sad and upset when I think about it. I agree with you though, i didn't want to get pg again to make up for our loss, I just wanted that baby back.
I had a d&c after both m/c because they were both incomplete (second was missed so I only knew I miscarried when I went for u/s). I was really scared the first time as I'd never been under aneasthetic before but it was ok. Second time I wasn't scared I was just devastated.
I've since done some tests (to find out 'why') and the only thing found was a uterine polyp which was removed, but that still may not be the reason I lost those two bubs. Hopefully this time we're third time lucky but I still worry.
Sending you a million . Don't set yourself a time limit, just take each day as it comes. You'll find you will eventually have a more good days among the bad days... they will become more frequent and more happier but it will take time. But you will always have a special place in your heart for your angel.
i know exactly what you are going through love. The pain and tormented thoughts about a bub that you want so much but never got to carry, birth and love. I was informed that i had miscarried at about 7 weeks when the sac was empty at a routine u/s and that was 7 weeks ago. I would have been about 14weeks pregnant with a nice little baby bump by now but it was meant to happen. I still grieve for my bub (and i have tears in my eyes as i am typing this) 7 weeks on. I was thinking of her (i wished for it to be a little girl) yesterday, driving and spoke out loud, hoping that she'd hear me and how i missed her so much, my dear little baby Zara, wanted by no-one but me (she was unplanned). i don't think you can set a grievance time. You will always think of your little bub, sometimes at the most unexpected times. I don't think i can ever forget her. She was truly my last chance at having bub#3 as hubby wanted and still wants no more kids.
I agree with Tully, if the dr. says to get a D&C done, go get it done as then you will rest assured that there is no conception product left and you can start TTC for another bubs when you are ready.
You haven't done anything wrong to m/c this bub. I was always blamed for losing my little Zara through exercising or going to the heated pools or some other stupid reason. Drs told me that it was not my fault and that sometimes the female and male chromosomes (in the egg and sperm) don't communicate that well and decide abort. It's just nature telling us that the baby wouldn't have been the perfect little being that we all wish for. Try and be positive. i know it is hard. People around you might think you are stupid for crying after the loss at such an early stage of pregnancy but they don't know what you are going through. Grieving is normal. Cry all you want.
I truly wish you all the best. Try and be positive...
I just wanted to say I'm sorry to hear about everyones losses. I wish that there were no such things as Misscarrages or anything in this world like that.
I have the blame on myself that I did to much activity at MonkeyBuisness kids place on that Wednesday & I sit and think to myself why did I my self while pregnant let my self play on air things that you can jump on and lift up my kids just to let them go down the slids... (I feel sooo stupid)...
I miss my bubs so much, I have a strong feeling it would have been a boy that I long dreamed of.
I want to give everyone I don't know how you all get through it, its so hard but I'm sure that I will be able to make it soon. I hope to be strong..
I am so sorry for your loss of little baby bean. I just really feel for you and wanted to send some big hugs your way, because I know that you need and deserve them!
I also wanted to extend my deepest support that there was nothing that you did wrong. It's easier said than done, I know. I spent an age trying to work out what I could have done differently when I had my loss, but ultimately, sometimes, these things are just unexplainable.
When I fell pregnant the second time, I didnt realise for 6 weeks (irregular cycle etc). During this time was Christmas and NY. Champagne was drunk, soft cheeses eaten to the max, and somehow, my little buddah bub leila made it. When i did the pregnancy test and realised I was pregnant I had all this fear of losing her and losing another baby, but as the weeks went on I realised that some bubs just make it, and it made me feel more at peace with my first loss. there was nothing that I did wrong, she just wasn't meant to be (i also had a feeling about the gender!).
Your 'little bean' will always be in your heart. No-one can take that away from you! Give yourself time to deal with this in the way you need. And be rest assured that us girls (and guys!) will be here to support you and share your journey. and also, you are one of the strong ones. you don't have to hope, just know.
BF,
I know the guilt. I've felt guilty too but just remember you did not cause your mc through playing on kids equipment. look at all the celebs.. they jog, run and do allsorts of things. Nicole Kidman was still jogging/running at 5 months preg. Angelina Jolie was carrying around Shiloh and Zahara to the day she popped out her twins. I think Mother Nature has designed our bodies to protect our bubs when we do heavy lifting or runabout.
Babyfever - I'm so sorry for your loss. please don't blame yourself. Nothing you did or didn't do made this m/c happen. I believe that sometimes things happen to make us stronger, it doesn't make it any easier though. Grieving takes many forms and takes people different times. You may never forget this little bean. He/she will always be part of your family. I promise you, it will get easier. There will be times when it really hits you and you have "moments" sometimes these moments may last minutes, hours or days. Special events, or some people may set you off, it's all normal and natural.
You really need to have an u/sound to make sure there is nothing left inside that will cause further problems. I m/c last november, spent the night in hospital as I reacted badly to the morpheine they gave me for pain relief, before they would allow me to go home, i had an u/sound to ensure that nothing was left and I didn't have to have a D & C. I bled for another week after that.
No new baby will ever replace the baby you have lost. A lot of people have different ways to commerate the little angel they have lost. Some have jewelery, tattoos and trees/plants. You will find your special way when you are ready. I would love to have another little one, we, as a family, talk about our angel, we refer to her as "she" (like Cassius we had a feeling about her gender) and even our kids refer to her as part of our family. We don't want to replace her, I'd just love to add to our family as I know we have so much to give another little person.
When you're ready pop into the TTC after m/c and loss thread, you'll be very welcome and the girls there are so helpful and understanding. I'm not sure I could have got through this without someone who knew and understood what I was feeling.
you have done nothing to cause the miscarriage and you could have done nothing to prevent it. take time to heal it will get better with time but you will always feel a piece is missing but you will get through this and be a better and a stonger person for it.
. Don't set yourself a time limit, just take each day as it comes. You'll find you will eventually have a more good days among the bad days... they will become more frequent and more happier but it will take time. But you will always have a special place in your heart for your angel.
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