I totally understand where you are coming from here is a big :hugs: from me at times life just isnt fair it was only 2 nights ago i was lying in bed crying my heart out saying why did my angel go why her why cant she be with me now enjoying a happy life that i could have given her and to play with her big brother harvey who would have been the best big brother its just not fair when i found out that i was going to have to have that horrible injection i just wanted to run away although i new it was the best thing to do i wanted to run away and wait till i was full term and wish she was perfectly healthy but i feel better today its just every so often i have these outbursts of tears and it is usally at night when my DH and DS are fast asleep as i dont want them knowing i am feeling down and upset i feel like my DH has delt with everything so well compared to me. but my counsellor said this is my way of grieving i no its a yr on but she said greiving can go on for a long time and the same with yourself you just need to let you body have these feelings try not to fight them as i did and it made me worse i really hope you feel better about everything soon and get them docs to do as there told also sorry for the lon message i hop you dont mind didnt want to steal your thread if you no what i mean.

Munchy xxx