oh, babyhopes, i am so sorry for your loss and pain. feeling down on life is absolutely normal, although i know that will not help you to feel any better. please be good to yourself and allow yourself to feel the emotions that come with this painful territory. you too, have the strength to live for a better day. i am sending you lots of hugs to make it through the down days and to wait out the time necessary to see those better days. it isn't fair, not at all. no one should ever have to live through these kinds of horrible emotional pains. hugs to you, and i hope you find some comfort from the wonderful folks here at bb. xxoom