I was on IVF and got the glourious news that it had worked and i was infact pregnant with twins. I was so thrilled. That was until my IVF specialist told me a week later that the HCG levels werent very high. Another week later and i was told that i will be miscarrying them. Not to worry, "just a bit of tissue". I sit here now just 2 days off 10 weeks to say that i spent New Years Eve and New Years Day miscarrying, not 'a bit of tissue' but my baby or babies.
Now thats where i need help. How on earth am i meant to know if it was one of them or both of them. The IVF specialist is 'on holidays' and i really do NEVER want to see the heartless, cold ****** again. Sorry, cant think of how to convey what i think of him nicely.
So now i m stuck. I dont know where to go, I dont know what to do. I have been in incredible pain over the last 48hours with only Neurofen plus to assist.
Each time i loose more, i look at it, staring blankly, is it still the first baby or is this now the second. Maybe still holding onto some slight possiblility that it is only the first and that the second baby is fine and the doctor is wrong. I think everyone probably holds onto that thought that maybe the doctor is wrong.
So what do i do. My thought is that i need a scan to determine if it was one or both. to see if it was both was it complete or do i need a D & C. But who do i go and see. I dont have a local GP. I was seeing an IVF Specialist, one that i do not want to see again. How do i find someone that knows what they are doing and that treats my babies as babies and not medical waste.:doctor:
Hi JustMe, I am so sorry to hear of your loss . Have you managed to find the help you need since your above post? I would have suggested finding a local GP or going to hospital to get checked out.
I hope you have lots of love and support around you right now. Again, I am so sorry
Dear JustMe i am sitting here with tears in my eyes as i read your awful post, i to have experienced a miscarriage, by now i am sure you have found help and i hope you have a supportive network of friends who can help you through this emotional time. I am a nurse and have seen how cruel some doctors can be, i hope you find some-one who is more compassionate.
I'm sorry, I am not sure what to do right now, but my heart is aching for you.
Please hang in there and come back to check every so often, there will be more replies soon - there are some wonderful members here that will help you.
Hi, I'm so sorry to hear about what you have been through. Many many hugs to you. I can't believe that specialist could be so heartless, especially working in that field. I wouldn't want to see him again either, you poor soul. I really hope for your sake he was wrong. Have you had any luck, finding someone to see. I know of a lovely female doc, on the southside, I have been seeing her for 15 years, but I'm not sure if she is taking new patients, but if your interested I could find out. I hope you are o.k. Hugs xx
Hun, go to your local hospital, tell them what is happening and they will check you out to see exactly what is going on. There have been a few members on here who have lost one twin and go on to birth a healthy fullterm baby - so it isn't impossible so you hold on to that hope until you know for sure. You really need to know what is going on and if you will possibly need a D&C - its not just something you can just let happen and not follow up on if you feel that something isn't right.
Most of all I wish you weren't treated like you were - to say he was cruel is an understatement.
sorry to here your in so much pain, hugs and kisses sent out to you, please go to the hospital i think that is the place to go right there is people there that can help you. hope you have a lot of love and surport around you. please keep us posted know we are all here if need. hugs again keep safe.
Oh honey sending big to you what you are going through sounds awful i really hope you have support and some help i would have gone stright to A&E but i think its different over hear in england how insensitive of that man to say its only tissue he is just so wrong from the min you find out you are pregnant they are your babies and no one can take that away from you they still grew inside you for 10 weeks and you still had that special bond no matter how long it was for dont listen to anyone who says comments like that god it makes me so angry i only no to well to have hurtful comments said to me and you are so right everyone holds on to the hope that the docs are wrong i understand you there i used to pray and pray that the docs were wrong about my little girl having the problems she had i think its totally normal to hold on to every little bit of hope thats left because we want it so bad i really hope you get through this sad time always ehar to talk.
Thank You for your kindness and advice. I logged into the chat room after leaving that post and spoke with a few people in there. They also advised me to go to the A & E which i did the following day at Brisbane Womens Hospital.
I have to say they were wonderful in there. They put me through straight away, took bloods gave me some pain killers then proceeded to do tests.:doctor:
The results were not good but they were results. The Uterus had emptied. They were both gone. The doctor then did an internal to confirm there was nothing further she could see gave me a perscription for stronger pain killers and I left.
That first few hours were hard. I walked up the the pharmacy in the hospital, it was very crowded so i automatically put my arm in front of my tummy to protect them incase someone bumped into me. Completely automatic. Then i stopped and thought; they're gone. They aren't there anymore. A bit later i was having some more pain and automatically looked down and said "hey settle down in there you two" then again stopped and thought; they're gone. They aren't there anymore.
The whole day was like that and the tears flowed all day. I woke up this morning still very sore, still missing them but with this half thought in my head that i can go on.
So thank you to everyone for your kind thoughts and advice, my little babies, Cameron and Krystal are now the most precious little angels flying above. I m going to do a scrapbook (something i ve never done before) for each of them. I m going to do a cremation and then ceromony. Society may not treat them as anything more than tissue but their mummy, daddy and big brothers do. They will be loved and missed.
An interesting or amusizing fact. One was born at 10.40pm New Years Eve and the other 12.30 New Years Day. One baby born in 07, the other 08.:angel2::angel2:
Hi Just Me,
I am so sorry to hear your sad news. I have also had a miscarriage over New Year and I know how hard it can be to have these feelings, while the rest of the world is celebrating. I'm glad that you have finally received the kind treatment that you need right now. I am in the UK and the doctors and nurses here were just lovely to me, it really helped to know that they were there to help me when I needed them.
Although life feels empty now, I am coping by firmly believing that I will have a baby to hold in my arms one day.
Take care of yourself, sending you a big hug,
C. xx
Just wanted to say i am glad that you went to hospital and got the help you needed i am sorry to hear that you lost both your angels it is a very hard thing to go through and it think the cremation idea is a very good idea things like that help us move forward. i no how you feel when you have to remind yourself you are no longer pregnant i got to 23 weeks so to not have my bump anymore was hard to deal with i would wake up every morning happy untill i remembered that i was no longer pregnant it is an emotional rolocoaster and it takes time to grieve hope you pain eases soon take care of yourself.
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. Have you managed to find the help you need since your above post? I would have suggested finding a local GP or going to hospital to get checked out.
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