"There's no baby..."

[luna moth]

OP. I'm so sorry.
Whether the baby was there physically or not, your love for it was always there, and that will never go anywhere. Take care of yourself.

[Lulliloo]

[Shades]

So very sorry

[~ Mylitta ~]

I was never pregnant. My body thinks I was, therefore my mind thinks I was too, but there was never a baby there. How am I supposed to process that? How do I grieve? If I haven't really lost anything?

DH says its kind of better this way, at least there wasn't a tiny little baby on the screen that had died. But how do I tell my heart that? I've spent 7 weeks loving this baby that never existed. I don't know what to do with these emotions.

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. It's absolutely devastating. I went through something similar (but with no bleeding. It was just discovered at my first scan) and after the initial shock and devastation I went back and asked my Ob some extra questions that had been haunting me. My thoughts were similar to yours about whether I was grieving something that never was, and if I had really been pregnant. My Ob assured me that "yes" I had definitely been pregnant. He said that when an ultrasound shows a gestational sac with no embryo inside, they actually can't tell if there ever was an embryo growing that had passed away or not. Once an embryo dies, it shrinks at the same rate that it had been growing, so if it had been a while since the embryo had passed it could be so small that the ultrasound equipment could never see it no matter how sensitive it is. So it is possible that you did carry an embryo for a period of time. He then told me the other situation is where the cells that form the gestational sac and placenta are fine and they develop normally, but the cells that form the embryo have a problem and are unable to continue to grow. Even in that case he said I would have still been "pregnant" as the genetic material to make a baby was technically there, it was just flawed.

I really hope that that info helps you and doesn't make things worse for you. I found comfort in knowing that I really was grieving for a lost baby, and it gave me some closure having the knowledge. Your feelings are completely valid and there is no right or wrong way to grieve, so do what feels right for you. Unfortunately many men don't feel the same way us women do in this situation so often we feel like they just don't "get it", and I think to some extent that they really don't, so it's hard to stay too mad a them. I know his comment hurt you, but it's perhaps his way of coping with what has happened.

My thoughts are with you during this devastating time. ♥

[Floweryfields]

Nothing to offer other than hugs and prayers.

[Lisa]

Massive hugs honey. I am so very sorry


(Sent from my phone, so I apologise if it makes no sense.)

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Hugs to you.

[UntoldAngel]

[Nai]

The baby was there in your heart and emotions so of course you have to grieve. Thinking of you xx

[beckoes]

you have lost, you can grieve, dont feel like you cant or shouldnt, sending love and strength to you. take time and be kind to yourself. xxx

[Bex]

OP I agree with the girls, from the time we see the two pink lines we fall in love, we have dreams & visions of our families future. Take the time you need to moun your loss & sit down with your DH to explain your feelings. Take care of yourself & remember there are so many ppl here to support you xx

[Razzberry]

OP - I agree with Mylitta - I was told the same thing, it is just devastating and I just found myself second guessing myself, deep down I KNEW something wasn't right but people kept saying I was one of those people who didnt get many symptoms.
Go easy on yourself and allow yourself time to grieve.

[Sopdet]

Oh sweetheart, my heart breaks for you

Be gentle on you, please.

I can understand why your DH thinks the way he does, but it doesn't make the pain any different for you.

[sepata]

I'm so sorry *hug*

[Hope.Positive.Love]

OP I am so sorry for your loss. I feel like I can't say anything else to you ATM besides how terribly sorry I am...

I am in the middle of your situation right now, and we won't find out if I have a BO until Monday which is killing us....

As others have said, there was a baby growing you were loving that baby so you grieve for that loss anyway you need to..

[Cricket]

Oh OP - I'm so sorry to hear this! I've been away from BB for a few days, and didn't realize this had happened. Every expectant mum's worst nightmare.
Even though people might say that there was no baby, you had hopes, and dreams, and plans, and love for this pregnancy, and you need to take the time to mourn. Give yourself time and space to grieve this loss - it is definitely a very real loss.

[lilima]

Thinking of you hun xxx

[Babyluv]

Hugs Hun,
I've too had a Blighted Ovum and I understand your grief. You have lost a baby in your heart whether you saw a baby on the screen or not! You have all these hopes and dreams for a little person and they're shattered. Hugs to you hun. Allow yourself to mourn and take as long as you need. Thinking of you.