Im so sorry. Im also sorry you had to deal with such an uncompassionate nurse or whatever she was. Why she would think you wouldnt be sad is extremely rude. I experienced a similar thing back in January and its hard when people say "At least there wasnt a baby"..because to us..there was. Take all the time you need to grieve because there is no difference and you have every right to grieve. *hugs*
I'm terribly sorry again OP and sorry you were treated like crap at the hospital. I too have been through what you have & still count it as a lost baby. I know in my heart there was baby and even though I couldn't see him/her on the u/s, I still count it as an angel baby.
Grief is something one goes through differently and you don't have to think about how you should feel, just feel & be in the moment. If that means screaming, then do it, if it means crying, then do it. I still grieve for all my angels - I had plans, hopes, dreams for their futures and that is what I now grieve for.
my 13 week loss was also a blighted ovum like you, I was 12 and a half weeks when I started to bleed but only had a sac measuring 9 weeks, also had a D&C I still count it as a loss, the sperm still had to bind with the egg to make that and to me that is a conception and therefore a loss. you have every right to feel grief. I still do. Big hugs.
Thank you everyone. Thank you for validating my feelings... Thank you for understanding. DH does get it, as much as he can anyway, and he was just trying to make me feel a bit better about things I guess.
I'm still sad. So very sad. This morning we told DD that there was no baby in mummy's tummy anymore. I don't think she really got it but I cried a little bit anyway.
And I should mention that while the staff in Emergency on Thursday were all a bit meh, the nurses and Drs I saw yesterday were excellent. Compassionate, kind, gentle.
I pulled off the sticky patch where the cannula was just before. I'm about to jump in the shower and wash off the lovely antiseptic stuff they rub all over your legs etc before the procedure. Then it'll be all gone. Like it never happened.
I'm so sorry, I've had a blighted ovum too and it just seems so confusing to be grieving something that was never there, even though the dream was... I'm so, so sorry. Please accept all my love and hugs, and take care of yourself hun xx
I'm so sorry for your loss. I had a blighted ovum and I didn't know until 10 weeks 3 days when we had our routine ultrasound at the OB office. I was devistated and we had seen a heartbeat at 6 weeks. What happens is that when the baby dies early on it gets reabsorbed into the body so if you have a scan it shows an empty sac. You def had a baby in there and it's heatbreaking.
I also had a very insensitve nurse after my D&C. She was braging about her pregnancy in detail with collegues while I was lying there recovering after having my baby sucked out of me. She was the same gestation as I was suppsed to be.
Darling I'm so sorry for your loss As others have said, from the moment you got your BFP you dreamed of your baby. To then have that dream taken from you is devastating. Be gentle with yourself
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