We lost our miracle yesterday

**nicjay** · March 11th, 2008, 11:20 AM

Oh no Nicki, I am so very very sorry

I wish there was something I could write to make you feel better, but I know from bitter experience that there really isn't much anyone can do or say to help in the days following. I was an emotional wreck following my m/c and D&C. All I can say is if you feel that you need to curl up and hide or not talk on the phone, then you should do it until you feel like you can cope with things. I was fortunate that I had a few close friends I could talk to who knew about my pregnancy, and my local miscarriage support group helped me a lot too - but that took awhile before I could go it

My DH took good care of me after my m/c, but he too was devastated by grief and found it difficult to cope. He just wanted to make the pain go away for me, and he didn't really know what to say or do to help either

I found that in the weeks following, the best thing he could do for me was just to listen when I needed to talk - I really don't know how I would have coped without him, even though we did have our moments

I bought a necklace with a heart pendant which I wear now, so my little one is close to my heart always - we were a bit worried about planting a plant and having it die on us

We haven't had a memorial as such, but every now and then I light and candle and think about our little one that we lost.

Big hugs to you and your family xx

**cherie26** · March 11th, 2008, 12:43 PM

Nicki
I felt the same as you I couldn't face anyone and couldn't talk on the phone for nearly two weeks. My DH was great and supported me the best he could and he was hurting to. I wanted to try again straight away but dh was scared it would happen again as was I but I felt I deperatley needed to fill that emptyness inside.
My mum bought me a beatuiful tree that has big pink flowers that I planted in my garden as a memory of my little girl.
You and and your family are in my thoughts and prayers and remember just give yourself time to greive.

**Auntie M** · March 12th, 2008, 05:17 AM

i am so sorry for your loss of precious Miracle. i wish no one need feel the pain of losing a child. i send my hugs and tears to you for your pain. like Spring, i have a necklace i wear every day to keep my son close to my heart. we also planted a few fruit trees last summer, and put up a bench nearby. allow yourself to grieve, my dear, you have lost your precious child and no one can replace Miracle. xxoom

**Curmon** · March 12th, 2008, 07:29 AM

So sorry to hear what has happened. I lost my little precious one a few weeks ago and this weekend we are heading up to Sydney to make a Teddy Bear for the baby. You pick what bear you want and you get to place a few things inside it with the stuffing, such as love hearts and kisses, we are also going to place a picture of the ultrasound in there to. Then you get a birth certificate and if you like you can pick some clothes put to dress your bear. After that the bear is boxed and ready to take home.

The shops are based in Sydney so I dont know where you are from but I am sure if you like that idea you could find something similar where you live.

Claire

**Kitt3n** · March 12th, 2008, 07:35 AM

Icki, I am so sorry for your loss, there is nothing anyone can say or do to make anything "better", just know your little angel will be watching you. I am convinced that they leave us too early because they are simply too pure for this world.

Something that might help you to let go is a candle - i bought a specila little candle, said a few words and then lit it. As it was just about to go out i sat there and watched it, and as the flame died it kinda helped me to release and to say goodbye.

:hugs: