i had a phone call from the hospital today to say our baby was back from having the post mortem. That to start with made me feel physically sick. Our counsellor told us we could pick up our baby and she would help organise the cremation through the place for us. The only problem is that the test results won't be back until sometimein the next 6 weeks. My husband said tonight that he would prefer to wait to do all the cremation things until we know what sex we are doing the service for which as terrible as it sounds, i kinda agree. Our heartbreak is there regardless but i think we feel as though while we have results oustanding (for lack of a better word)for anything they have to give us for our baby we are not at the point to be able to cremate. Does this make sense? am i talking in circles? am i a terrible person for feeling this way or are we being crazy having to make ourselves wait, which means in the meantime we may drag the immediate grieving out a bt more if we wait.The hospital i'm sure we were told could keep our baby until we were ready. 6 weeks is so long... I don't know...still so many angles to this i just could'nt have imagined trying to make decisions on ever. My husband asked why i am speaking to one of my friends about all of this and not him and i said that he is the hardest one to speak to about it and was so hurt that he could'nt wrap his mind around why i felt that way. i am so confused and frustrated and dreading work next week...