Feelings don't work that way. You know it's futile to force yourself to have a particular emotion or to feel it more strongly. As long as you're not blocking out certain emotions on purpose and are just letting them ebb and flow naturally, you should be fine. And you always have here to vent if you need to!

In my own experience, I tend to be very businesslike and clinical while I'm at the doctor's office or the hospital recieving care. In fact, when they start to tiptoe around me, I could just scream! But when I get home to my own surroundings that's when I really start to feel my loss. Then I grieve like I'm "supposed" to.