Psychobear...I am so very sorry for your loss.I know only too well what your going through as we all do here.Remember that you're not alone and the future will hold great happiness for you...that's how life goes I'm afraid.One minute we're up the next we're down. My advice is go with your emotions,don't be afraid to feel and get it all out of your system...but give yourself time and be kind to yourself.Rest easy love....it will get better.

Heaps of hugs,
Claire