My ears are sore from screaming and it affects the way I react. I've started to explain how much it hurts my head when he screams, but it doesn't seem to have much effect except for him feeling bad when he settles down again.
But it does really really hurt and melts my own core when he screams like that. I am seriously going to get ear muffs.
I am right there with you! We are getting a lot of screaming here at the moment. Meltdown yelling as well as just plan screaming cause it feels good and he is frustrated. I tell DS to scream into his pillow cause it's just too much. His OT suggested we get HIM some headphones and let him play loud music - which I am yet to do but golly gosh it's on my do - to list and gettingout weighted blanket soon too!

Good luck with the paed if you go down that route. I really am so pleased we got Xanny diagnoised it is possibly the best thing I have ever done for him is give it a name which shields us all from some of the hurt.