Oh Maz, massive *hugs* honey.
Don't be too hard on yourself. Christy is right... we really all do have moments like this. I have lost it at Aidyn before in a similar way.
Its really really trying when your threshhold is constantly pushed like this... its so understandable that you couldn't cope with it for a moment there. Its just a horrible place to be in. We know you are doing your best babe, you are a fabulous mother!!!
I hope things are a little bit better for this evening... if not, I hope things calm down soon.
Huge massive hugs to you.
We've been going to OT twice a week. I found it so extremely life changing for our house. It was so much of a confirmation that we are on the right track, we are going the right way and doing the best for Matilda. It was hard to watch for one session how hard she made Matilda work, but we are seeing benefits already. Its bloody expensive to go twice a week and do swimming classes without having the big diagnosis.... its $200/week. Man... I wish we had private health insurance before the diagnosis of SI. I guess we could try to get it before an ASD diagnosis, but even then, the gov $$ would help more.
This is our last week of twice a week though, *whew* KRudd's $$ we saved for OT is going far too quickly! We saved all of Matilda's $$ for OT expenses and swimming lessons, and this week it runs out. I thought we'd get at least 4 months out of it
Hi all, wow lots going on in the past few weeks with our gorgey kids!
Christy - Sounds like you found yourself an awesome OT! I always say OT saved us! Not just the difference in Xander but in the understanding of where he is coming from - it is my favourite place to be with him because he is "at home" What you need to do now is get to medicare and get your Autism specialist refunds organised. It is quite a lengthy process but basically you get about 80% back on OT. Pm me if you want details
Maz - we have all been there! How is it these kids know just what buttons to push that hurt us so much. hugs to you, hope things get better.
Wednesday - welcome to a place where you can feel normal at last, You can chat to us about everything you and your son are going through and we will understand just where you are at! As for blaming yourself and looking for reasons, don't. My SIL (her son and daughter also have asd) have done our fair share of beating ourselves up and searching for connections/causes etc but these kids are who they are and they are infinetely special and unique and although they experience things differently to us and drive us nuts what would the world be without them. There ar lots of famous people who have autism and have changed our world for the better. Something I am coming to terms with this year is not forcing my ideals on DS for example for the past 6 yrs I have pushed him to socialise but he doesn't like it and now I have come to terms with it and don't eel like I am neglecting him etc. What is great is if you can get together with other parents of kids with autism and the stress there is a lot less. Check out aspect for lots of insight into people with autism - really interesting to speak to people with autism and see how they percieve themselves and their diagnoisis.
Mantaray - you sound just like me when we started looking into assessment with DS. I was worried that they would turn around and say nothing is wrong I'm just a paranoid parent and I was worried that they would turn around and say - yes this is autism - and then where would we be. Argued constantly with DH about what difference it would make etc. Anyway on the other end of the stick now - I wouldn't have it any other way. Having the assessments done gives you insight into where you can help. Even if it turns out to be "traits of autism" "PDD" "sensory processing" it gives you somewhere to go and work on his issues and help him. I know it sounds harsh but you are better off to go in there and present the worst of the worst behaviours/experineces you have had because if you water it down now and he is classes as borderline or not on the spectrum and then things worsen later on you will not only have to repeat the whole process again but also you will have missed this vital time to work on social cues, OT fine and gross motor skills.
Hoobly - welcome. I agree with Christy and Ambah an OT is a great place to start to desensitise and if...if they pick up other sensory problems in the assessment well it's all the more info for you to help your daughter out of these situations. We are in a situation with a strong family history - SIL two kids are dx and our son is dx and I was recently talking to the OT about my DD quirks that are arising. she agreed with our family history it would be impossible for her not to have traits but having picked them up we can work on them with her. Don't forget also that autism in girls is much different to the stereotypical reactions and assessments we see in boys. Sue Larkey and Tony Atwood have done some assessments on this I believe and Christy would have some great first hand info on things to look for.
Well after all that gushing I don't really have the energy to write about Xander's school issues only to say blah blah blah. I hate school and I hate other kids who go to school
Thought this might cheer us all up as we all sound stressed out at the moment. What are some of the quirky/funny/literal things your kids have done.
Today I told Xander to take his shoe off and put his socks in the washing basket. So he took off one shoe and walked to the laundry, came back into his bedroom and took off the other shoe and then walked back to the laundry. When I asked him what he was doing he said you told me to take my shoe off and put it in the corner and then put my sock in the laundry basket - you only said shoe not shoes!
When we were doing his ped assessment the Dr told him to jump on the scales - so he did - jump, jump, jump
The other day DH and I were having a joke about lettered cupcakes spelling out Happy Birthday. DH said to DS you didn't have to "P" on the cake. To which DS cracked up - then abruptly stopped laughing and in all seriousness said " I don't get it"
There are so many other quirky things he has said that have us all in stitches, including him - I will try and think of some more.
I just quit my job... I took one with less responsibillity closer to home so that I didn't have to think so much. Part of me is happy, its easier, and I'll get to train dogs again, but part of me is sad. I don't want to blame Matilda, but if my head wasn't on her all the time, I could do the other job happily.... I would never say it out loud.... but I'm sad about it too. It was nice being one of the top nurses in the country if only for 3 months...
Christy honey......breath babe. As terrbile as this sounds......things may work out more then likely for the better now that your more in control of the in's and outs of Matilda's days.
I had this discussion withone of my friends who son is almost identical to Wilhelm. We both asked each other if we can remember our lives before the spectrum? If we can remember not to over annalyse everything, remember what it was like to be able to just go without having to preplan....remember just doing for us. I had a really good position with Westpac before I had NIkolaus.....I went to go back inot it when Wilhelm was 6 months old and his reaction to me going to the interview was more then enough for me to quit before I started. ....I lost myself somewere there for a few years.......and became this person today that I dont recognise anymore. Dont lose yourself hon..... still keep doing things for you and make sure that yo take time out for you.
I have a horribel start to the school year just horrible. I havent had the energy to post it in here....I felt very ashamed of myself for how I reacted. Wilhelm has started in a new Special needs class 2 times a week that the school has devised as of this year for SN kids...great idea BUT different and wilhelm knows whats different. He became very agressive and abusive physically. His teacher said he could bring his DS to school to which he knows I said no and he went balistic at me. I got down to his level to try and calm him down and he grabbed my plait , yanked me down and kicked me in the face twice before I could push him away ( I have now cut my hair cause of it ). He told me for the first time he hates me...not a word that is common from WIlhelm and I know he ment it because he has a very good understanding of words. I picked him up and threw him on the bed, told him I hated him back, slammed the door behind him then melted on my hallway floor and cried. All this on my birthday. THEN on the thursday this program is run the kids in it are ment to go down the street to buy food to make for lunch...WIlhelm had a spaz at school and kept yeling telling them NO. I spoke to his career and she let me in on a secret that would cost her, her job.
Last year they use to go down the street on a thursday (SN kids with career's)....Wilhelm loved it as they would stop at the bakery and share a bowl of wedges and get a drink. His career broke her leg and was off for 6 weeks...Wilhelm had started acting up and hitting Vy in this time...I never knew why...until now. The new career and her other career friends would order themselves coffee and make the SN kids sit at another table without givng them anything! Wilhelm told me he asked for something and was told to SIT and SHUT UP! Wilhlem doesnt lie...great trait of an autistic kid but OMG I started to cry. It explained so much! All the hard work we put into getting him down the street was shatted, I use to take him there and he hated it towards the end of last year..grrr...So lets just say when i get acertain 'Amanda' and Fran' in my clutches all hell is gonna break loose!
ANyway.....Wilhelm is much better these days...since Jed and I changed the boys room and have made a little lounge for them...big beanbag, his egg chair and the t.v and playstation facing away from their beds.
Sorry that I didnt post this before...its been hard even doing it now. OH and now I hear a little boy yelling for me...thanks girls
....I lost myself somewere there for a few years.......and became this person today that I dont recognise anymore. Dont lose yourself hon..... still keep doing things for you and make sure that yo take time out for you. 
Bookmarks