Aspergers/Autism/Sensory Integration Chatter

[Kahlan]

Here are my questions. DH has been seeing a psychologist for his own anxiety issues. Obviously he has been discussing Evan. He said she said we should look at having him assessed ASAP.
said that we should be able to arrange this through the school.

Hi Fiona,

sorry that you are going through this tough period. I hope I can help you.

I am, beside an asthma educator, an OT and a child and adolescent mental health clinician. (I should came into this subforum more often)

From your post I can not ascertain exactly the extent of his behaviours. does he express feeling sick (physically like wanting to vomit)? Does he refuse to go to school, don't want to leave you, express particular fears...etc.? Without knowing more I can not tell you one way or another.

What I can recommend is access The Child and Adolescent Psychiatry Services (not sure what the equivalent would be outside of Victoria). The school should be able to refer Evan to this service. You yourself should be able to do the refer yourself without the schools input. It is a state funded program and at least you will get some answers.

Hope that helps, if you want more info or want to run things by me, don't hesitate to pm me.

Kahlan

[maz]

Matilda has to be first as well. She kicks and hits the other children if they get in front of the queue to get into her classroom. Her teacher said to me a few weeks ago that it is very important for Matilda, sometimes she stops playing when she sees the teacher walk outside with the bell to run to the classroom. Sometimes she stops playing 20 minutes or so early in order to stand at the door to be first.

We had the same **** with Wilhelm.
The teacher and I stratagiesed together to start a 'school rules' and a 'home rules' thing.
So the school rules are we dont touch ANYONE, kicking is not one the school rules ect.
Home rules - keep your hands to yourself or I WILL DO TO YOU as YOU do to ME. As hard and horrible as it sounds....if Wlhelm hits or kicks us...we did it back. It only took 2 go's and he hated it. Now he tell's us hands to your self.
We also have to be firm, if its a no answer to anything...then its no, even with crying and carry on. 3 warning and then its time out.

OH OH I went to a Richard someone seminar years ago and he said that kids on the spectrum need a 'cave' were they can pick them selves up after meltdowns ect. Soooo we bought an egg chari from Ikea, its the chair that has a roof thing that pull's down and he can block everything around him. We use it successfully. To start with Wilhelm was in it 2 - 3 times a day and now we're lucky to use it once a week.

Barbie - im gonna have ot use that line next time. I butted heads with Wilhelms teacher so many times this year...until she finally understood him for HIM. Love that your son found a friend so easily...it makes your heart melt doesnt it.

Thats what I love about our kids...they dont see colour, age, disabilities as a barrier...they see the person within and respect them for who they are not what they are.

Fiona - Ive already told you what I think....in all honesty the longer you leave it the harder it is going to be to get the help he needs. the younger children on the spectrum are the better it is because its like having to reprogram a computer in a sence. Your doing a fab job matie...having a child with anxiety is one thing..but a hubby I take my hat off toyou woman. iN the mean time...write everything down...it may not look good on paper but it hits home and helps when you go to meetings ect.

Tan - yourve done the first thing so many of us are worried to do....admit something is not quiet right with our child. Raven is spot on with what she said. I took a different approach as Wilhlem as 2 when I begged for help. I went to my doctor who said he was normal and in the end I went to our MCHN who listened to me and watched and got the ball rolling. She told me what I had to do and go tme in touch with Hume services who are a government department that help mums and bubs like ours. Its in association with DOCS somehow..dotn ask me just glad DOCS is doing good for us . Let us know how you go and make sure if you need to down load...come in here.

We have had a break through!!!! I listen to you beautiful woman's in here and changed Wilhelm's milk to Soy. I got the chocolate flavoured one for school and jsut a normal soy for WIhelm and ****, he is calmer, likes going to school much better. I expected a big melt down as his teacher left last friday but he was cool with it. Totally amazed me. So thankyou so much for the advice girls.

I really am getting alot from this thread...its so much easier to talk to others who are having 'issues' with their Super hero kids and can nod in agreement and simpathy with you all.

Thank you all for making me and Wilhelm feel 'normal'

[*Efjay*]

Maz, I appreciate & have taken on board everything you & I have spoke about. But Im still a little lost as to how I get the ball rolling.

[maz]

I''ll make some phone calls tomorrow and see what I can get out of our social worker. In the mean time ring and make an apointment with your doc so you can explain everything to him and get a referal to a pead. get onto the social worker at school to and see what they can do for you to...tell them you want help as you think your child is on the spectrum

eta - FOUND THIS - Australian Advisory Board on Autism Spectrum Disorders

mods - DELETE IF YOU MUST...not sure if its one that is aloud as its a help link/infomation link

[christy]

Also FJ google Aspect... I think there is a Blue Mountains groups.

[*Efjay*]

Hi Fiona,

sorry that you are going through this tough period. I hope I can help you.

I am, beside an asthma educator, an OT and a child and adolescent mental health clinician. (I should came into this subforum more often)

From your post I can not ascertain exactly the extent of his behaviours. does he express feeling sick (physically like wanting to vomit)? He will often complain of a sore stomach & does have runny bowel motions & Has had for some time, not sure if that is related or not) Does he refuse to go to school, Yes, But he does go, its never been to the point of dragging him there, BUT it has gotten tot he point of dragging him out of bed in the mornings & dressing him & throwing him in the car.don't want to leave you, express particular fears...etc.?He doesn't have a clingy side as such BUT he does need to be layed with till he is asleep, He does obsess over things, fear realted but it changes. His one consistent fear is spiders. But pass obsessions have been termites eating the house, a bad man breaking into the house. The fan in bedroom falling from the roof on to him while he sleeps, most recent was being in a booster seat with the adult seat belt as he had outgrown the 5 point harness. He was worried it wasn't safe enough. Without knowing more I can not tell you one way or another.He is very empathetic & will often get upset if someone else is. It concerns him greatly that other kids pick on another boy in his class. His teacher has said he is the one to point out if things are not done in order. I have been going in the last few days in the mornings & helping with reading. He is extremely distractible, He isn't naughty as such but he can not focus on the one thing for longer then a few minutes. He is like this at home with homework but just as bad at school. He is abit of a clown at school I have noticed in the last couple of days. Not sure if that a reflection of me being there or not though. He seems to be a bit of a show off. Seeks out the chance to jump up & do something else. His teacher is constantly having to ask him to come sit down. But not from being naught, but getting up to tidy the pencils, toys etc.
At home he has trouble expressing his frustrations & will just have outbursts, yelling (really nasty tone in his voice), hitting, kicking slamming doors etc.
He has trouble listening. But I am thinking this is lack of focus. You can say to him "Stay with us" while we are on a walk, but moments later he is running ahead again. Yesterday DH hadn't even finished saying to stop climbing on a pile of wood chip & he was up on it again. For a awhile I have put this down to just being naughty, but I honestly think it just goes in one ear & out the other. He hears us but isn't absorbing it. He passes the blame & is starting to lie alot also. Yesterday I caught him in the act of drawing on the wall. But straight away he was saying Isla did it, all the while the pencil was still in his hand. I made him sit there & clean it all off. Then explained to him how hard a job it is too do & that I don't enjoy doing it. He seems to understand that. Normally I would just have sent him to his room & then cleaned it off myself. But making him do it seem to make a difference.
He also seems to have no scene of things that are dangerous, Yesterday (after the pencil) I found he had stabbed the couch & put a 2 inch rip in the couch with a knife! He says he didn't do it, it was done the other day. BUT I also know he did open the cat food with a knife & also stabbed a hole into the water bottle. So that plus Glenn dobbing him in all points to Evan doing it. We didn't punish him as such but explained that who ever did it would be a big deal of trouble. Knifes are not to be touched ever & it would be much better if the person who did it would just come forward & tell the truth & while we are not happy about it, that will be the end of it. But he said nothing.

What I can recommend is access The Child and Adolescent Psychiatry Services (not sure what the equivalent would be outside of Victoria). The school should be able to refer Evan to this service. You yourself should be able to do the refer yourself without the schools input. It is a state funded program and at least you will get some answers.

Hope that helps, if you want more info or want to run things by me, don't hesitate to pm me.

Kahlan

Ok, gotta cook dinner LOL

[joel's girl]

Just wanting a bit of advice.

I know a baby ( 8 months old ) that is constantly moving. I mean her hands, feet and at times her entire body does not stop moving around. Although she can hold a sipper cup or rusk stick in her hands unaided, they continue to move as she drinks/eat. She is a very bouncy baby.

At times the movements seems to be involuntary. Im concerned for her and her family but cannot find the right words to express my concern and second guess myself everytime I think of bringing it up with her mum.

Does this type of behaviour sound normal ??

[christy]

joel's girl, flapping and loose body movements at a young age are associated with autism, but its really something that the MCHN would probably notice in a check up as well.

Maz - I'm glad the milk thing has helped!! in fact, I'm amazed. My BIL who has asperger's says that he can't think clearly if he has anything with milk in it. Someone on the Australian autism website says that her IQ drops 30 points on milk.

FJ - Matilda always had runny poos until we stopped milk. She hadn't done a formed on in her entire life. The other thing is the in one ear out another thoughts. Matilda has auditory processing issues in that she often won't "hear" things. The OT told me that is part of her issues. That she can't process what she is hearing properly if there are too many things stimulating her senses. Its really helped us in how we parent her. Because rather than getting unbelievably frustrated, I now think oh she can't hear and get in front of her & hold her arms and make her look at me before I say what it is... if its important, otherwise I roll my eyes & go on in life... HTH!

[~Saram~]

Yes I agree soy milk is god's gift to our kids on the spectrum and they don't even seem to mind the taste - yuck. Xander actually prefers it now to cows milk!

Because rather than getting unbelievably frustrated, I now think oh she can't hear and get in front of her & hold her arms and make her look at me before I say what it is... if its important, otherwise I roll my eyes & go on in life... HTH!

That is so true!!!! And doesn't it make such a HUGE difference when a professional tells you there is a reason! Ours told us to stop trying to get him to stop and look at us as he can actually process things better when he is moving, same with his talking and thinking - thus the reason I am dreading school next year.

We are all geared up - vibrating cushion, balance board on it's way, sloping board for writing and some funky "can't get it wrong" pencil grips. I am seriously ready to home school though if it goes pear shaped. Being a teacher I know there are a lot of teachers out there that can't stand fidgety kids (I used to be one of them) and I can see them getting frustrated and angry with him and him getting frustrated back and nobody getting any learning done

Joel's girl - it's one of those things I don't think you can bring up. I think you can just be there if they mention it to you. You can guarentee they have noticed it and if a parent is not commenting on it then they are probably not ready to accept it. You could try saying something in a positive way like , goodness me I've never seen a baby move so much and see if they follow you from there. Having said that bub could just have an immature nervous system or could be something else entirely????

FJ - I second what Maz and christy said, check out aspect, download the autism checklist and just sit back and observe for a couple of weeks. It's true that we all have autistic traits but if you find your ticking nearly every box (like we did) then you have something to tke to the GP with you. We had to get a referal from the GP to the paed, from the paed we insisted on referrals to other specialists, OT, Speech, Psy they sent . it's also good to write notes beside each criteria like does your child line up toys - lines up cars from biggest to smallest or in shades of colours or whatever they do. DS used to go around locking all the doors in th house or switching all the lights on and off. DS has high anxiety about things and used to mention a lot of the things you said actually but since we have been using more routine, and charts etc I think he feels he has more control over other parts of his life and the rest aren't so scary???? Does that make sense

[joel's girl]

Thanks you ladies. I take your advice on board.

[~Saram~]

OK we've had a crap o day and I need to have a whinge :-(

Nanna's gone home to brissie (after staying with us for 4wks), school is gearing up for transition to yr 1 and I ran out of soymilk and food in general (been called into work a lot and didnt get the shopping done) so we are out of routine, off our diet and out of this world. Yesterday's christmas party didn't help - It was lovely btw. but complete sensory overload plus he was asked to pick two present from a pile in front of him (and of course changed his mind once we left)

The biggest kick in the teeth was this rude woman today. I was in the video shop at the counter and DS was outside the shop in the trolley playing on his laptop. I had told him where I was going and he was all of a metre away from me through clear glass doors. This lady barges into the store and say, excuse me is this your son he is screaming out here looking for you. I swear to God if looks could kill she would be dead. He of course wasn't screaming or particularly looking for me just making a racket because he hates the shops and was repeating himself over and over again at the top of his lungs. Grrr, do people honestly think a parent in this circumstance needs the point rubbed in their face, did she honestly think I couldn't hear him????

Anyway we have food now and are back on our diet, we have jumped, rolled, had a few wrestles, snuggled under our comfort blanket but he was still throwing himself into the walls before bed tonight. Sometimes I just want to line the inside of my house with mattresses. School tomorrow is going to be so much fun as I am working again so routine is out the window.

Ahh thank you for letting me have my little rant. back to the grind stone. Hope everyone else is doing well

[christy]

Sarah, your rants help me feel normal! So please rant on

[maz]

AHHHH honey....sarah - you know what you should have said to the woman.....

of course my son is screaming....he was looking at YOU!!!!

I have so learnt to be a ***** back...I am so sick to death of having people make me annalyse and explain why my child is behaving the way he is...stuff them...if their going to say stupid comments then im going to give them stupid relies! I think that you can only put up with the stupid snide remarks for so long then flip. I actually had a really nice bloke years ago in the supermarket. WIlhelm was being ferral and this guy tried to touch him to help (wilhelm use to scream and hit himself in the head when this happened)..I just said im sorry he's autistic and the guy said he understood, apologised gave ME a hug. I coudlnt beleive it...someone who actually cared enough to think of me.

OH for the looking thing...I use to hold Wihlem's arms and get down to his level....it drove me insane with frustration...I now do my Kath & Kim thase..

Look at moi WIlhelm...WIlhelm....WWWILLLHELM....looking at Moi

Yes I use the stupid tones and the ups and downs of my voice get his attention...he ends up cracking up laughing and guess what...he does look at me

off to make tea so he doesnt eat it again :rolling eyes:

[~mamaspice~]

Hi Lovely ladies. I just found this thread and felt the need to post my experience with Aspergers.
Well, my DH has it. When he was young he had to have speech therapy and physiotherapy amongst other things and the paed told his mother that he was "slightly autistic"(paeds words). But his parents didn't want to believe it. He found it tough making friends when he was growing up and was not very good with his schoolwork. (unless it was something he had a partuicular interest in then he was brilliant)
His Aspergers certainly isn't extreme, but as a wife, the challenges are certainly present. I have had to explain his sometimes rude behaviour to my parents. He is very rigid with routine. And with things like DD's toys etc, they have to all be put away in certain ways and certain places.
Emotionally, he is basically of zero support for me. He just doesn't understand how I feel or have the ability to empathise. I find this the hardest because I cannot rely on him for any emotional support and this was particularly tough when I was diagnosed with PND as he didn't understand and didn't agree with me being on Meds even though they completely saved my sanity. Also with DD, if she is noticeably upset he doesn't really think to console her until I tell him to pick her up and give her a cuddle. So that is hard as well.
You have to be careful what you say to DH as everything you say is taken literally, even when it is obvious to you and I that it isn't meant to be taken that way. He constantly needs re-assurance and I find myself being loaded up with all of his worries.

I think the most important thing is understanding and reminding myself of the reasons why he does things the way he does. That said though, he is aware that some of his actions aren't acceptable and that he needs to try to work on these.

He constantly worries that our DD has Aspergers too but so far she seems to be okay. She has good co-ordination skills, she does acknowledge us and point at things and all of that but it is in the back of my mind and I do worry a little whether our next child will have it. I guess time will tell.

To all of you lovely ladies facing this challenge. Big to you.
Oh no, I'm at work and I'm all teary now

[~Saram~]

Christy - thanks we can all feel 'normal' together :-)

Maz - you crack me up! I think I responded with a "he's fine" and turned my back on her - I was so over it by then. The little man is getting it back together today and school went well apparently. He got his pokemon book from Bookclub so has been engrossed in that all day and is currently curled up in bed with it.

Spice - thank you for your different perspective and can I say from a mother with a child with aspergers - thank you for loving your partner!!!! It gives me so much hope that DS will find a lovely (and patient) lady and enjoy having a family of his own - if he wants too.

Literal sayings - DS put the fan on tonight and I asked him to turn it down so I didn't get blown away and promptly got a lecture on gravity and how that is physically impossible due the force of gravity on our bodies however if we were in space............ such a cutie.

[~mamaspice~]

Oh ~Saram~ to you sweetie. I sure do love my husband and your little man will find someone special too I'm sure

[christy]

*groan* picture this... you just get home from an overstimulation episode at the shops which you were at for 15 minutes, because you had too. Then you get home & next door there are people with chainsaw's cutting down trees!!! At midday!!!!

So I now have 1 NT (normal) toddler who is over tired and screaming because she wants to sleep... and 1 over stimuated 4 yr old who has panic attacks with loud noises screaming because there have been chain saws going for the last 45 minutes outside.

[maz]

Christy - get an MP3 player and always have it on hand woman...and as for the nextdoor neighbour..i would have throw rocks at them

Sarah - I have the same worries about Wilhelm.....I pray and hope that he finds a partner that loves him for the person he is and see's through all the abnormalities. Its to painful for me to think about him not growing old with the love of his life and having his own children when I see how he is with his baby brother.

Spice - Yes...thank you...for allowing us to believe that our babies will to find the love they deserve. Its so beautiful to hear that you have except your DH for everything he is. My worry is that Wilhelm will 'pass' on his traits if he has children so its so lovely to hear that it isnt so. thankyou from the bottom of my heart.

Now on a happy not *wiping away tears* - Wilhelm has had a hair cut WOO HOO!! his carer at school is a qualified hair dresser and I told her that he hasnt been in over a year and she asked if she'd likeher to try to cut it if I aloud it...HELL YES!!!! so my darling has got nicely trimmed hair to which he told me its sick and need's panadol.

Also had a PSG meeting at the school and they have informed me that they are starting a piolet program next year for 5 of their 'special guys' . 2 days a week they will be in a special class room wer they learn things like self grooming, social etiquet and what we all consider normal day to day things. their even thinking putting the kids in swimming lessons so they can learn to swim. I am so wrapped!

ok enough from me...but befoer i go, if your wondering why their acting haywire again

ITS A FULL MOON!!!!!!!!