My DD1 is not formally diagnosed (and we won't be seeking one at this stage either) but part of the reason we are stopping at two is the risk of another child needing early intervention as she did because of the cost in time and money, it would spread us very thin. I have no doubt I could cope with another child like her, in fact I find it easier in some ways as we just get each other well but all the extra needs outside of the home would be too much for us.

DD1 was also the catalyst for us deciding to homeschool (though the choice became far more than that) and that is quite an expense too (time and money) when considering another child.

We haven't completely closed the door but are fairly decided two will be it for us. It is hard because the older my kids get, the more I realise how much I just love doing this all and could do it over and over and over but it just wouldn't be responsible for us so we have let go of it as an option as best we can.

I think if you really want this, you'll make it work but if you can be swayed by justification against (like we were) then the desire probably wasn't that strong to begin with (we never had those feelings that someone was missing that others often explain for example), we had lots of reasons outside special needs that influenced our decision also. Is the special needs concerns your only big hesitation?