Last names

[thepixie]

A question for all you lovely BB ladies (and blokes) - did you give bub mum's last name, or dad's or both, and why?
I'll start.... I changed my name when I got married because I wanted us all to have the same name. and I liked his better. also I felt it was like a fresh start for me having a new name... I felt I'd left a lot of baggage behind with the old one. The Bear and I agreed that we wanted to have the same family name so there were no arguments.

[feeb]

I changed my name when we got married as I felt it was important for me to do as I entered the next chapter of my life, also for sake of kids when we had them.

I have friends who are not married who the kids have the dads surname.

A friend who is married with hyphernated name and kids just have the dads surname.

[Glamourcide]

My maiden name is Danish and all my life I've copped mispronunciation, had to spell it out loud three and four times to people before they get it, had it misspelled on important documents, and was made fun of at school simply because it wasn't 'Smith' or 'Taylor' or 'Jones'.
I couldn't wait to throw it away and change my name to DH's (which is much, much simpler!), so when we found out we were expecting, I pretty much demanded that we get married because I wanted everybody in our house to have the same name. I understand that a lot of people keep their maiden names for various reasons and there's nothing wrong with that, but I guess I was raised pretty traditionally - mum and dad get married *before* kids arrive, everybody under the one roof has the same name, and there is no confusion about which child belongs to what parent, or which person belongs (okay, not 'belongs', ykwim) to which person.
My mum did at one point suggest that DD could be given my family's surname (which offended DH so much I still don't think he's forgiven her, especially seeing as I have a little brother so there's a very good chance the family name will continue through him), but I never even entertained the thought. DH, DD and I are our own family and it's just tradition for the woman to take the man's name and give the kids the same name. So that's what we did.
Maybe if I'd been raised or lived somewhere different, it wouldn't have been such an issue for me, but around here, an unmarried couple just isn't taken seriously, and if you throw kids into the mix then you become downright tacky (which is stupid, none of my friends are married and a lot of them have kids, but I admit I did feel a bit of that 'what will people think?!'), so that was another motivation for me to get married and take DH's name when we found out we were having a baby. Having all of us with the same name not only saves a lot of confusion, but kind of sticks it to people who expect that a pair of early-20-somethings are just 'shacking up' and by the time I'm 30 I'll have four kids to three different dads (not that I see a problem with that, relationships don't work out sometimes, but around here people can be very judgmental).

[Megan]

I didn't change my name when we married as it is important to me. DH has the most common name going and hates it and didn't expect me to change my name - not to mention he has no links to his fathers side of the family. The baby will have my surname which gives it a chance to continue on for another generation as it would otherwise have died out. We're happy with our decision but have been questioned about it alot. People don't understand and just expected we would use DH's name for the baby.

[thepixie]

Thanks for the responses guys! Gothmum I hear you on the spelling factor, I *thought* I wouldn't have to spell the Bear's last name (I always had to spell my maiden name), but alas people seem to need that!
I think what got me thinking about this was some friends of ours who are married but bubs both have mum's last name. And mum and her two sisters all have different last names - ie one has her mum's, one has her dad's and the other has both! Also I was looking around my mum's group and wondering what the baby's last names were... and I'm still too shy to ask!

[Arimeh]

DH and I are married, but I kept my maiden name. I changed my name the first time I got married to my exH's name - and then went through hell to try and change it back with all the "procedural rules" up here. So I kept my name.

The kids have DH's surname though. Sometimes I think about changing my name to be the same as my kids, because you always get "those" looks, when they think I'm unmarried, to which I quickly say "we're married and I kept my name" blah blah blah

Just bothers me because I'm judged so quickly and they don't even know the reason why I don't have his name (and also my name just sounds SOOOOOOO bad with his last name, and I like mine - its different - and I can spell it quickly... and I like that.... LOL)

Anyhoo - *cough cough* - yes... kids have hubby's name.

[New Dawn]

great question....

I took BHL's name so the the kids also have his name, for me my last name didnt have any real meaning to me seeing as there are millons of us out there ( smith ) mind you BHL's last name isnt much better I liked us all having the same name, makes it so much easier for school...