DH and I can't seem to agree on a name, or even a shortlist for our little girl. Everything I suggest he either vetoes outright or is just indifferent to, and I feel the same about his suggestions. I really want us to both be happy with what we choose in the end but don't know how to manage this process. I'm finding myself spending HOURS going through our name book and looking on the net trying to find something we can agree on. I guess it's a reflection on our quite different personalities - we have quite different tastes in music and art, different dress-styles and different interests. It's kinda amazing that we get along so incredibly well now I think about it!
Also, I believe she should have a middle name. He is quite strongly against the idea of a middle name. ARGH!
I've heard lots of couples who don't agree on names either name a child each (if planning on more than one) or, pick a name each - one for first name - one for second.
DH picked Miss M's name - and I wasn't too sure of it cos its just so unusual and nobody has ever heard of it.
I went on the "unusual baby names" website and wrote down every name that I liked, or that sounded good with our last name, gave him a copy and we crossed out ones that we didn't like, wanna use etc - ended up with one that we both liked - that we then used as one of her middle names.
With DS - his name was going to be Reznor - then I changed my mind and ended up searchin for a name at 36 weeks - and found the one I absolutely loved - and luckily DH agreed.
Just gotta think of an equally cool name for #3 now!!
I had to learn how to decipher what DH was saying about my naming suggestions he either said an outright "no" or a "it's not bad" but he never loved a name. I was waiting to find the name he loved and realised it would never come as he just couldn't imagine our DS until he was here with us so thinking about a name to suit him was impossible for him. The best he could do was a "it's not bad" and that's the name we went with and now we can't imagine him by any other name.
I'd actually picked out DS's name about 15years ago - and had mentioned to DH over the last 11years we've been together, so I guess he just knew that it was meant to be. He did have a whinge that he never got a say in the name back when I was still pregnant (we didn't know what we're having either) - but deep down he did actually like the name - he just wanted to be difficult .
But I did say as I had picked the 1st name, he could do the 2nd name - I must admit I did help suggest to him to pass down his middle name (which I think he was very proud of anyway).
Unfortunately if we ever have a girl he has no say in it as I've also had the 1st and 2nd name picked out for years as well and I'm not willing to budge at this stage (but I think he likes these names too, particularly the middle as he knows what it means to me). But if we ever had another boy, I think I might actually let him pick that one (depending I like it of course).
I liked Elise or Elspeth, DH liked Sophie. And we both hated the other's choice!
It took hours and hours and hours in a car to get three names we were both OK with. We then went through them again the next day and DH ruled out the name we eventually decided on. We were stuck with "what could be long for Ellie?" for a long time because none of my suggestions were OK. And we decided that we liked Faye but couldn't name our daughter that. So we went back to the other name.
But it was sitting down for hours and just going through literally hundreds of names, every name I could think of (the name we both ended up loving was just a name I flung out because it was some new thought and DH didn't think it was too nasty or silly).
And we have middle names for family. If it's "for someone" then it's harder to refuse!
While we still haven't decided on DD's name, I have gone to my state's Births Deaths and Marriages website and got the list of the top 100 registered girl's names. After eliminated all the names family members already have and ones there is no way we would use, I ticked the names I liked and DH did the same. There were only a few names that we both liked. I was actually very surprised (horrified) by some of his choices.
With DS we nutted it out on a car trip. It seemed much simpler for a boy!
Oh Katabellah - I feel your pain. Our DS1 didn't have a name until he was 2 weeks old because we refused to compromise with each others first choices- terrible!
The thing is- we actually both loved a name earlier in the pregnancy, as it was very unique, artistic, and we had come across it quite alot in our travels around Europe. Then low and behold, some young man with our favorite name committed a hideous crime against a minor and it was all over the news etc. Of course the story was forgotten 2 weeks after that but DH couldn't let the association go. I was so upset - I brought up the issue with my friends and none of them could actually remember the name of the guy who committed the crime anyway.
Luckily, DH eventually brought up the name crisis with his mates- who told him that 'our' name was the best of his selection, and that it would be stupid to get rid of a great name just because some moron out there with the same name did something bad. I mean, how many criminals out there must be called Michael or Jason, for example??
Anyways- so we settled on it in the end- but poor DS1 was just 'bub' for a couple of weeks!!
I am so petrified that the same thing will happen if we have a boy this time. We have already started discussing names to be prepared - but he seems to change his mind like the wind. Thankfully he is pleased with my chosen girls name...... coz I wont be taking no for an answer with that one!!
Goodluck- maybe you can suggest that if you have boy - he can have your Dh's name as a middle name? Or maybe there is a nice name for a female middle name on his side of the family, or a female he admires, which may make him come around?
Oh- and a word of advice, sometimes they can be antagonistic to a name simply because you suggested it (I don't think they are aware of this of course), but rather than you go through lots of name lists and suggest them to him, make him go through name lists (you can have a list each) and at the end see if you have picked any of the same. This way they feel a bit more empowered, and he cannot deny liking a name if he chooses it for himself!!
Goodluck!!
XX
Last edited by JellyBean; March 30th, 2009 at 05:45 PM.
: spelling
My DH refused to discuss names before we knew the sex of our baby!! But I still kept saying "what do you think of xx". I thought it was going to be very hard to find a name we both liked because he didn't like ANY of my suggestions.
At our 19 week scan we found out we were having a boy. I already had a very long list of girls names but no boys names as I just couldn't think of any. The very same day DH said he liked Peter, which according to him I had suggested ages ago. This was my late fathers name & is DH's middle name. So decision made easy peasy!!
I don't think we'll change our minds as the name means alot to me. The only trouble now is a middle name which I think is important to have. Don't know why - just our opinion. The middle name DH wants I hate & I can't think of anything yet.
How did you and your partner decide on a name?
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But I still kept saying "what do you think of xx". I thought it was going to be very hard to find a name we both liked because he didn't like ANY of my suggestions.
The very same day DH said he liked Peter, which according to him I had suggested ages ago. This was my late fathers name & is DH's middle name. So decision made easy peasy!! 
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