Reply With QuoteI agree that if you are pregnant at same time as someone and you have said names then it would feel unfair to use them but if people wanted to use my DD"s name then I would be honoured not ****ed off!
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I think it depends on the situation.
If two people re pregnant at the same time and one uses the name the other was going to use, especially if they know the sex, then i think thats a bit rude.
But to rule out a name because someone (who may not be UTD, or even TTC) has told you they like it? Soooo, what if they dont ever have a baby, or dont have one of the right sex, are you suppoed to not use a name on the off chance that they do have the right baby, and still like the name by then?
What if that name happened to be at the top of your list to, and you are pregnant, but hadnt been talking names and they just blurt out oh i really like Susan for a girl...so what you cant use it now? Not in my book.
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I agree that if you are pregnant at same time as someone and you have said names then it would feel unfair to use them but if people wanted to use my DD"s name then I would be honoured not ****ed off!
BellyBelly Life Subscriber & MPM
It would bother me personally! I would go out of my way not to name my child someone I know well's favourite name out of respect, but that's just me and how I feel! Not everyone feels the same way and that's great.
With DS2 we didn't tell anyone (except my sis) what we were naming him so we didn't risk anyone else hearing it and liking it too! We will do the same thing this time around
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Trish, what if someone tells you when you are say 38 weeks pregnant oh I really like XYZ name, and thats the name you've chosen and not told anyone...would you change it?
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YEEEESSSSS..... it is VERY Common! have experienced it ourselves with this bubby due soon, have had 2 names pinched from under our noses!!!!!
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we have always kept our names a secret, with DD we told everyone we would call her Bambii for a girl or Ferris for a boy - people didn't know if they should take us seriously! But we did accidentally take our friends girls name - they didn't tell us and we didn't tell them and our girl came first!
We also had a list of boys names just in case and the top 4 got used in the last few months of my pregnancy... lucky we had a girl.
But we just make a habbit not to tell anyone as we want it a surprise when the baby arrives.
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THis is going to sound so silly but I have a girls name picked that I am still keeping a secret from everyone... I won't even suggest it on the BB threads!
I'm very attached to it, it's pretty unusual and I have a stupid paranoid fear about it becoming really popular before I get to use it- if I ever get to use it.
i guess its different if you're the one who had the name 'stolen'
but then again, if you have picked a name, i say use it regardless of who else has used it!
also, i think my best friend is calling her bub Jack, he is due next week... we've picked the name Zac if our bub is a boy! i think Jack and Zac is cute! lol
BellyBelly Life Subscriber & MPM
I don't know if I'd change it at that late stage, but I'd probably freak out a little LOL! I would tell that person straight away that we have already chosen that name and I guess just guage their response. If that person wasn't currently pregnant it wouldn't bother me as much.
I don't know why I feel weird about it, I just do. But, I am weird
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A friend of ours was pregnant about 8 weeks before we were, she actually said to us that if we had a favourite name we should tell her so that she would not name her baby that. Her reasoning was that she'd already had 2 girls, she'd used her fave names and was working on a list for the third, if it was a girl.
DH and I said we'd think about it but never gave her our prefs - we just thought if she chooses one we like, we'll get over it.
They ended up having a boy so its not a problem...
I think it depends too on how much you think you'll see the child with the stolen name. If its infrequent, who cares? But if they are a close friend, it might be a bit weird - IMO anyway!
BellyBelly Life Subscriber
I agree that generally we all nick our names from somewhere. I think the only time it might irk me is if it was someone I would be seeing a LOT. For example, there's a name my little sis has always LOVED for a girl, and I definitely wouldn't call my little girl that, because it's a really unusual name - the name-pinching would be obvious, and I know it would hurt my sis - if I really really liked it, I would at least test the waters, hoping she didn't like the name anymore.
Really though, there are SO many names in the world, it wouldn't be too hard to find a different name would it? But like LoriRae, I don't really share name suggestions before bub is born too, so at least then if someone picks the same name, I won't have hard feelings.
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My SIL is due 16 days before I am and shes having a boy and told me that Liam John was a name she had chosen as well. I have already told my DH that if we have a boy his name will remain the same even if his sister choses it, and he has agreed. He understands the my reasons for the name as its my late fathers and grandfathers names. BTW my SIL knew that we had chosen that name as I was 5 months PG when my dad died in 2003 and all of our family and friends knew if we had a boy that I would name him in my fathers honour.
So in a way I do call that stealing a name especially since its been family knowledge.
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If the name was in my family, for a child my child's name I would not use it, unless it was named for someone special to the family. In my family, all the family names are middle names so there are no issues with that to anyone.
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Cant say ive ever had it happen to me. but if it did id be pretty peeved off. i remember a friend of mine who got Prg and was thinking of using the girls name i had picked out at the time not the same but still lol.
a name is a name. there are millions of ppl who share my name and my sons.
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My brother and his partner had picked a boys name and my other brother and his partner stole it from them...it has been a bit of a running joke in our family. I know that my brothers daughter (who is only 4) has said things about how mummy and daddy won't tell anyone their new name so it doesn't get stolen..(You have to be careful what you say infront of a 4 year old). But it's all good now!!
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when we were younger, my bro idolised Michael Jordan and said he'd name his first son either Michael or Jordan - our cousin had a boy and named him Jordan, so from then on, my bro was naming his first boy Michael - if i had a son before him, and used the name Michael, i'd see that as stealing the name from my bro.
we have names picked for our Gremlin - we also have another girls name and a boys name picked out. my immediate family know these names, and if they used them (they have no significance to family, so there is no reason for them to use them) i'd be peeved. if someone from DH's extended family used out boys name though, i'd get over it and still use it - the boys name is for DH's dad so it has meaning to others - i'd still use it cos the family are so estranged i'd never see the other little boy kwim? i MIGHT change first and second name order though..
there are a few BB girls that know Gremlin's name - if any of them managed to pop before me and used it now, i might feel a bit hurt because none that i've told it to have jumped up and said "OMG we were gonna use that name" so it would feel like they got the idea (kinda unusual name) and used it from us kwim?
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I think that you should be flattered if you have a name stolen. I dont believe that you can't use a nome just because someone else has "baggsed" it. I am currently 31 weeks preg with a girl. My cousin was due approx 3 months before me. We are VERY close. She found out she was having a boy, and decided to call it Will. This is a name that I told her that I would call a boy if I had one. (although I did tell her a few years ago and she probably forgot.) Anyway I was a little annoyed, but then we thought it didn't really matter and if we had a boy, we too would call it "william." (basically the same name.) Sadly my cousin lost baby will at 35 weeks. I still didn't know if I was having a boy or girl, but still we would have called it William to honor her little boy. It ends up we are having a girl, so it is a non issue.
In saying all of that, I am only going to have 2 children, and just because I said if I have another boy I will call it this, doesn't mean that she can't use it "just in case", as what if she doesn't have another boy, it means no one would have used it.
I hope this ramble makes sense.
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when i was pregnant with dd we were discussing names with my family and i told them that if we had a girl we would be calling her chloe lacey (lacey is my mums maiden name) and sil said that chloe was the name they had picked for a girl and we decided that who ever had a girl first got dibs on it.When chloe passed away sil was so happy that we had the name as it suited her perfectly. I'm lucky though have the best sil in the world. but have heard plenty of horror stories.
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