Registered User
THis is going to sound so silly but I have a girls name picked that I am still keeping a secret from everyone... I won't even suggest it on the BB threads!
I'm very attached to it, it's pretty unusual and I have a stupid paranoid fear about it becoming really popular before I get to use it- if I ever get to use it.
i guess its different if you're the one who had the name 'stolen'
but then again, if you have picked a name, i say use it regardless of who else has used it!
also, i think my best friend is calling her bub Jack, he is due next week... we've picked the name Zac if our bub is a boy! i think Jack and Zac is cute! lol
BellyBelly Member
Nope, not silly at all. I have a quite unusual girl's name picked out too, and I'm not sharing online either.
THis is going to sound so silly but I have a girls name picked that I am still keeping a secret from everyone... I won't even suggest it on the BB threads!
I'm very attached to it, it's pretty unusual and I have a stupid paranoid fear about it becoming really popular before I get to use it- if I ever get to use it.
Registered User
I'm with Trish on this one. It bothers the hell out of me. I think that if you're close with someone and they share a name they love and have had their hearts set on (whether they're prg or not - to someone who's been ltttc it could be even more hurtful) I would NEVER use it out of respect of our friendship and their feelings. And so I expect the same in return.
When I was prg with DS we'd picked a girls name which we did not discuss with anyone. SIL was about 12 weeks behind me and one day my MIL and (other) SIL were over and were talking about the name BIL&SIL had picked as they knew they were having a girl - I nearly died becasue it was the same name! I immediately told them that and although I was due first, I would have felt terrible if she'd had her heart set on that name and while we did too, I would have at the very least called her to talk to her about it.
Thankfully, we had a boy and in the end they called their DD something else entirely - Matilda, which I also LOVE so obviously we just have similar taste in names.
Registered User
i feel this happens all the time to us! as we have been TTC with iVF for nearly 6 years! And i find choosing names so hard working in CC.
Two of my DH friends who we see all the time called their DD the name that we would have chosen and the other the second name we would have chosen. I have my heart set on a boys name and will be using it no matter what! My SIL was going to use it but didnt in the end, i think she found out i like that name not that she ever told anyone the names that they had in mind, it all came out after her DS was born.
ETA - i love matilda!, Its in our top two!
Registered User
What I would do, is talk to those close to me who are pregnant, and say, if we like names, we should write them down and whoever picks it first gets it. Because it really hurts when someone knows you like something and before you can have it, they take it. Like you say, when I get home, I'm going to have that yummy choc pop in the freezer. And your sister whom you were talking to on the phone, goes and eats the last choc pop. Now that hurts. Perhaps they should say, I really wanted it too. Can you buy more (ie choose a different name?) or can I have it? Or we should leave it for mum, and both go without.
BellyBelly Member
My inlaws had the situation where three women were pregnant (two brother' wives and a sister). They all liked the same name, I'll say Tom. They were all due about the same time of the year, and ended up having their babies within 3 weeks of each other. They each called their children Tom, and never had a problem with getting confused.
I'd go ahead and call your children whatever you wanted to call them.
Registered User
I have decided to keep my chosen names 'secret' until I name a child. We've had a girl's name chosen for about 7 years now (even though we didn't start ttc until 2006)... My DH's best friend and wife chose to name their daughter that name when she was born in 2006 (just before we started TTC).
As we hadn't told anyone, I couldn't really say anything... but they hadn't told anyone their choice of names either, so it was a matter of both of us (well 4 of us if you include DP's) had chosen the same names (I guess that's why we're friends - we like similar stuff). So although it feels disappointing that they chose our name, it's not like they stole it...
I think it would also be a bit rude if we 'put dibs' on the name that we had chosen... How do I know they hadn't chosen it before us? It's kinda "You're dammed if you do, You're dammed if you don't". If you announce the names you like right from the start, you risk someone else liking it and using it, but if you don't announce your names, someone might 'put dibs' on it first anyway....
Names are not 'owned'. It's strange how people are so determined to have an original name for their child, when in the scheme of things, it really doesn't matter. My DS has a pretty original name, and I still have to meet someone who shares it, but I couldn't care less if he was the only one with it or there were others with it too...
Registered User
when i had my DD the local paper came around and took our photo for the mother and babies section our photo was in the next weeks edition of the paper with in 3 weeks there was a Sheridan leigh ( exactly the same as my DD ) and a Sheridan Lee i thought it was very flattering we had to go back to the maternity section of the hospital and one of the nurses commented on how popular we had made the name
Registered User
BG, I LOVE that name! Keep onto it, its beautiful!
Shazz, I met a Sheridan once. She always gets comments about Sheridan who was Hyacinth's son in Keeping Up Appearances, but when she introduced herself to me, I first thought of those expensive Sheridan sheets! So she gloated to her partner (she was one of the ambos who transferred me to another hospital) that she was a luxury and he better appreciate her more LOL!
Registered User
nah, i've given up on that name now Echidna! it's all good if anyone wants it... couldn't have same name as mum's bestie's grand daughter. plus it was a pre-DH name - the name we have picked now is very different (still love that name) - and i love it to bits!
Registered User
When I had my first daughter, I had a (pregnant) friend say to me that she was going to name her daughter the same name because that was the only name her DH liked. But she was a bit of an odd-ball...very jealous and competitive. Anyway she ended up having a boy and named him a name that I would never consider. It really aggravated me because she went on about it incessantly.
We have always told people that we like the name "Ethan" for a boy. We've got two girls so we haven't had a chance to use it but we are now pregnant again - this time with a boy. A friend of mine has just recently called her son "Ethan" and I know I never told her I liked the name because we stopped telling people the names we liked over the last few years. Anyway, I have decided to not use that name. Partly because I am afraid other people in our common group of friends will think we "stole" it from her but also because I see this friend on a weekly basis due to being part of the same mothers group. It is pretty hard because I don't really think we will be lifelong friends - well, we will probably keep in touch but wont be extremely close. I hope I don't regret not using the name...It has become a lot more popular in recent years so that has put me off the name a bit.
We have come up with another boy's name and we're not telling anyone what it is but I am afraid that if a friend I know uses it between now and April (when our baby is due), 'we're just going to go ahead and use it anyway.
Wow, this thread has really grown.
Why do some of us feel it's so important that we don't know any other kids with the same name as our own? I find it really interesting that some feel so strongly about it.
Where does the idea of ownership of a name come from? Do some feel that because they have chosen a name but not yet met their baby (while PG) that somehow it is the BABY that is in some way being "stolen" when the intended name is used by someone else? Like when you want to name a baby Anna for instance, you have a strong idea of who little "anna" will be and when your friend calls her baby Anna it feels as if she's stolen your anna, and now you can't have her?
It's so interesting to me how strong some responses are here, from real hurt and outrage at the use of a name to complete indifference.
Would anyone be willing to share the reasons behind their feelings?
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