Arte I don't know you as well as the other ladies, but I'll give you my opinion...

I'm a Special Ed teacher...

'Giftedness' is no excuse for the type of behaviour you describe. TBH I think it's being used in this situation to allow your DS to behave in a way that is neither beneficial for your family or himself.

I'm not a medical professional and I'm not going to tell you what I think might be the problem, but what you need to know is that you need to be proactive about this. The longer you leave this, the bigger a problem it is going to become. IF your DS gets a diagnosis, you can get up to $12k in funding for therapies etc BUT ONLY if the diagnosis is made before he turns 6.

Allow your son to be himself and to be happy. The only way you are going to achieve this is to stop making excuses and do something! I'm sure you won't leave your son if he's physically ill, not take him to the Dr etc. this is not much different.

Aspergers is not a life sentence. It will give you the opportunity to help your son adjust to his world. The sooner you do something, the better the outcomes.

Good luck