FWIW, a close friend of mine had very similar problems with her DS. He was always a pretty full on child, even as a newborn, and he displayed a lot of aggression and sleep problems around the same age as your DD. They too tried everything without any appreciable results at the time. Eventually is was behaviour he grew out of it, and is now an exuberant, energetic child who is generally very well behaved.

I know "it will change over time" isn't a great answer, but as a word of encouragement for now, my friend said that even though she found is extremely difficult and frustrating, she is so, so, so glad she really persisted in *trying* to stay on top of that behaviour now, because its really paid off. She says that while at the time it didn't seem to make any difference, she can see in her son's behaviour now that the things she was trying to teach him actually did get into his head and are now benefitting him and showing up in his behaviour. Its like she was planting seeds that how now taken root.

Not sure if that helps, but it sounds like you are doing a great job and please be reassured that it will eventually pay off. Sometimes parenting can be a very tough gig.

Oh, also FWIW, my friend's son is also really quite intelligent. And strong-willed!