The BIG sleep issue....why do we taunt ourselves over it??

[helle]

I hate it when people link sleeping thru to being FF.

[studymum]

I hate it when people link sleeping thru to being FF.

Arghhh omg yes, I don't know how many times I have been told with DD2, to give her a bottle of formula before bed so I will get a goods night sleep.

[onthefly]

I agree it's good to talk about how much your baby wakes/feeds etc - that's the reality for many parents but there's so much fiction on the subject many mothers are left feeling they must be doing a really crap job

[~Hestia~]

I agree it's good to talk about how much your baby wakes/feeds etc - that's the reality for many parents but there's so much fiction on the subject many mothers are left feeling they must be doing a really crap job

Exactly, that's what I was trying to say.

[MummaSue]

It really bugs me that babies are judged by how "good" or "bad" they are on how much sleep they get. DH and I seem to be the only ones who don't have an issue with how often DD wakes in the night. She's a hungry bubby for goodness sake, and yeah, like Kate said, she can do soooo many cool things - lets talk about that!

[Miss E]

I get where you are coming from, but I have to say I've been guilty of complaining about DS's sleep on many occassions (and still do about his early wakeups even though he sleeps through most nights, and I've got it pretty good on the whole). I hate to say it, but I do think it is kinda human nature to complain about things that we find difficult, and lets face it sleep deprivation is difficult.

What I hate is people who offer advice or solutions or go as far as to tell you 'you have to do this'. And yes, trying to label a baby as 'good' or 'bad' based on how they sleep is ridiculous! How can a baby be 'bad'? They're helpless little beings who need their parents, not mischevious, naughty little things who set out to make their parents lives difficult.

[MantaRay]

It's really quite a big problem that we have in our society. Instead of villages working together to support families in raising kids we have relatives, friends, bosses etc who expect us to have the babies fitting in to our lives as quickly as possible. Instead of understanding that babies needs lots of time - frequent wakings and feeding etc - we are expected to change their natural behaviour and get on with life. Where is the realisation that raising kids is the most important thing that anyone can ever do and that parents need to be supported in this? And that raising truly healthy and happy kids means meeting their needs, not trying to change their behaviour? You have to wonder whether we would have such a high rate of depression, anxiety etc in adults today if kids were seen as less of an inconvenience when our generation was born.

[Erin_25]

Well put MantaRay! you are so very right.

Don't get me wrong I have no problem talking about it, or listening or giving advice when asked....No problem at all!! It is great to talk things through.

But I'm "tired" of people always talking about it like babies should sleep when they want & wake when they want etc...and they must have a problem if they don't and lets change them and torture ourselve's!!!! at some point we need to accept things the way they are and work with it or around it...if you know what I mean. errrr I don't know I'm not as good with my words as some.

[mummajj]

i havent even had my baby yet, and already im stressed out about what "sleeping technique" to use.

it seems like half of everyone that asks me is against baby sleeping in cot, and the other half are against co-sleeping. and then there are the occasional people that are in the middle somewhere.

now before i delved into the huuugge issue and the masses of information that is "sleeping techniques", i thought it was normal for a baby to be put in their cot under the watchful eye of the mother throughout the night. Is this wrong??

now i have no clue what the best thing to do is.

[HotI]

Do whatever works for you and your baby. There are many co-sleepers who thought they would never co-sleep (but they have found that it works best for them). And many babies who have let their parents know they love sleeping in their cot alone. You have to do what works for you and your family.

SIDS & KIds recomend that babies sleep in the same room as their parents for the first 6 - 12 months in their own sleeping space. Some parents can't sleep in the same room and others can't sleep unless bub is in the same bed. You will work out your own way. Check out the SIDS guidelines and other safety precautions but these can be woven into most sleeping arrangements.