I consider myself a gentle parent, but being gentle doesn't mean not being firm either. Mel, personally at almost 15 months, your boy isn't trying to manipulate you when he cries - developmentally he is honestly too young to realise that screaming upsets you - he only knows that he is upset, and that he counts on you to make him feel better. It may seem like he's pushing all your buttons, but he's cranky because he feels bad. I suspect the reason the basketball thing worked was because you managed to distract him from feeling bad and made it fun for him. Great job and something you now know you can incorporate in the mornings that works to help him get over whatever it is that's upsetting him. Sometimes comfort is about mummy distracting instead of cuddles, and a great gentle parenting tool.
Rach, your little girl is at an age when tantrums are common. Charlie gets so worked up he screams for so long that I'm certain by the end, he can't remember what he's upset about. But it's them not being able to deal with those big, big feelings they're experiencing, and often the best way to deal with it is with firmness and consistency. So if she's doing something you don't want her to do, ask her once, and if she persists, remove her from the area and if she chucks a tantrum, stay close, hug her if she will allow you to, and allow her to work through it. Your calmness, presence and consistency will teach her how to deal with her emotions and learn how to manage them. It's going to be distressing for you to watch her cry, but being there for her will teach her that you are not leaving her, she can still depend on you, but she will need to learn how to deal with her feelings. And she will learn as she develops. This is milestone in development for her. If you can get your hands on it, try reading 'The Science of Parenting'. It explains in plainspeak what developmental stages your child's brain goes through, and makes sense of why they behave the way they do at different times of their lives.
Most of all, remember that you are amazing, responsive parents who are examples to your children as to how they should behave. Your presence and love will make them feel secure, yet teach them the boundaries that they need to learn how to function in the world. You're doing fabulous jobs, girls.
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