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Thread: Crazy Behaviour

  1. #1

    Default Crazy Behaviour

    I'm not sure where to post this. When Lincoln was born (4 months ago) I was so happy for people to hold him and come and see him. I was telling people to pick him up and i didn't care if he got passed around. Now it's a totally different story. I can't stand him being passed around. I feel really anxious when people just come up to me and take him. I find it really hard to tell them to just wait for a while until he's used to where he is. It drives me crazy with worry and makes me not want to go out. I'm not sure exactly what it is I'm worried about. I just prefer people to admire him from a distance at the moment. Is this some kind of normal possessive thing or am I going insane. I do want people to admire him and want to hold him. But I want them to let me initiate it. Maybe I'm just a control freak. Does anyone else feel like this or am I alone? I also don't feel like hubby supports how I feel when we go out.


  2. #2

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    Oh i so agree with you. My MIL does it everytime we see her and it drives me crazy! As soon as she sees Jesse she grabs him from me. Sometimes ive been changing him and she tries to grab him before i do his pants up! Then he gets the "Dont look at her, youve been with her all day". I really hate when people say that. Drives me crazy! But what do you say to that?

  3. #3

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    Um, it could be just that you are much more intune with Lincoln's needs now - and maybe he's not so happy to be passed around as he is becoming more aware of his environment. Plus if he gets upset you are the one who has to soothe him and so on. You could be going mad (you are a mum after all!) but maybe not! Is Lincoln upset when he is picked up suddenly? or is it more about you?
    Either way, you are his mum, and I always say Happy Mummy = Happy Baby so if you don't want people to pick him up just tell them to give him a moment other wise he gets upset. Alternatively you could just lie and tell them, he's just had a feed and might chuck all over them if they grab him!!
    Kellxx - what sh* thing for you MIL to say - of course he's going to look at you! I'd say "oh he just prefers his mummy, don't you beautiful!!" heheh (I know - way too naughty!)

  4. #4

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    How about a sling? I wear a sling to church if Riv's got a big day ahead of him and I don't want him tired out by 12 :P
    If someone's going to snatch your baby from your bosom, then I say punch em! But they tend to leave him alone in the sling.

    And you're not crazy, I get funny about things like that too sometimes.

  5. #5

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    My DF's aunt used to come over and wake my DS up for a cuddle! DF got the ****s with it and told her not to one day,,,, but they are philipino and it didnt work. Now i will have to go through it all again when this bubs is born in a few weeks time.... But they dont come and visit here that often so i may be right?? We will see..

  6. #6

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    Yeh my MIL drives me nuts sometimes. Like you scorpio she comes over and if Jesse's sleeping she says ill go have a look at him and try not to wake him ha ha.. i say no please dont wake him its taken me hours to get him to sleep (even if thats a lie). And then we hear.. ohh how sad i didnt get to have a cuddle, thats really sad isnt it.. i say not really you live a whole 2 minutes away (god help me) and hes not going anywhere!
    Thats my little rant over..

    Back to the main subject

  7. #7

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    I know how you feel because I feel the same way ,especially about MIL because she will literally pull Imran out of my arms even though it will make him cry and if I don't let her and explain that Imran is a bit clingy atm she'll still come back for another try. I do try and tolerate it even though its incredibly rude and it ****s me to tears because I figure that as a Mum one of my biggest challenges will be letting my babies go and encouraging thier independance. The way I see it coping with MILs snatchy techniques now is good training for thier teenage years lol.

  8. #8

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    Thanks for the replies everyone. We went out yesterday to my SIL's place and the whole way there I was stressed out about how it was going to go (almost to the point of tears!!!). But it all went fine and I didn't feel like people were just taking him out of my arms. I feel like I just need to be more assertive. He is my baby afterall. I feel a bit bad about my whinge as some of you guys have it a whole lot worse. I can't believe how people try to manipulate and make others fell guilty.

  9. #9

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    I can't believe this post is up because I was about to do the same thing for myself - exact scenario 1timemum! I have a 2 month old and as much as I know my MIL & SIL love him to death, they just grab him and take him away. They already look after Andrew 3 days a week and yet they still need to grab the child off me!
    I actually envisioned myself taking up the opportunity to confront them about it the next time they grab him. I want to tell my MIL and SIL that it's rude to just come and grab baby off its mother - and to ask first. It's not like I'm going to say no (except for when I go to church - I make sure no one holds him so that a trend doesn't start). However I know I will have to enforce this whole asking-mum-to-hold-baby needs to be applied across the whole family and no favortisms!
    Nickel - good point about the whole "baby prefers mummy" line. I'm soooo going to use it with my plan above *scheming grin*
    1timemum tell us how it all goes with you and ur IL's. I'll be very interested to hear the outcome! It's come to the point where I'm not going to shed tears, impress or fulfill the other person's needs for the sake of my relationship with my child.
    The applies to when everyone gives advice on how to raise our children too. Its like f*** off! Hang in there chicky!

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