I have to say, Im a big believer in going places without kids as often as is possible, unless it's to a park or mothers group etc. I don't ever take kids out to dinner (young ones) and this is 60% because I want a break and 40% because I want baby in bed. don't go out to dinner much though!
Same with shops. Someone told me recently to do all my shopping at 8pm or 9pm once kids are in bed and DH home! Great idea,but Im usually in bed too!!
I really feel that the times I do get frustrated is when others are around and Im embarrassed. So as someone else said, it's more about worrying about the other people and it doesn't give me the headspace to be calm.
Saying all that, it is very very rare I have a problem out in public, (mainly because of timing, dummies, food etc for coco) but I so totally understand when I see other parents not coping. I often smile as if to say "thank god it's not only me"!!!!
Im not talking about abusive type parents, but to be honest, I haven't seen anyone like that. Im talking about run of the mill mums/dads who are exhausted and their kids are being pain in the butts!!
Also have to add, I have once or twice said to my babies mean things in a lovely sweet voice...and infact it is a way to release frustration. Of course they were tiny, didn't know what the words meant, but they sounded like a lullaby!!! I know my mothers group have done it and we all have a laugh (of relief I think, more than anything)!!