I agree that the strategies a parent of one child might use and the strategies of a parent of 3 or more might use are VERY different. Regarding pram use: I agree that lifting a child up and out of a pram occassionally is necessary but because I don't drive I am very dependant on my children being happy to ride in my pram for long periods and I would never do it (lift) consistently. Carrying all the time is just not an option. Yes I do occasionally carry my baby in a back-pack style carrier down to the local shops but I just can't do it for long periods with a 3 yo in tow as he often needs me to bend down to help him... it would be impossible to, for example, help him go to a public toilet with my baby in a backpack and all my shopping in my other hand. I'm just not as young as I used to be! LOL

Also i do understand a need to seek out a bit of child-free space occasionally. As a SAHM all day every day is filled with the sound of children's noise and if I wasn't able to find a quiet place occassionally I'd go crazy. However i do respect the right of other parents to take their children to places that I might like to go... so I leave and find somewhere else. One Saturday morning I needed a break and almost walked the length of my local shopping strip looking for a quiet cafe where I could read the newspaper. I do see both sides of the "Child Friendly Space" arguement... but in reality it's a very tricky issue. Whilst most of us do care when our children are disturbing others it really does seem, when i am out and about, that not many other parents care much. Another example is on public transport: I always gently remind my children to wait until the people on the train disembark... then step on... but very frequently when i am the one who has to get off other parents simply allow their children to shove past my pram... or stand in the way. Why aren't people teaching their children basic courtesy? I guess they are all just too tired to bother?

I know all this is a bit off topic but if parents are too tired all the time it would translate back to how they speak to their children... I think it might also come from a place of deep resentment: perhaps the parents are justifably resentful of the situation they find themselves in in our Western society where they are usually only 1 of a 2 people who are doing all the raising of their children... whatever happened to the shared responsibility of "the village (that it takes to raise a child)"? Bring back the days when a child was guided by everyone in their community. Many a time I have wanted to say a gentle word to a child throwing a tantrum and being rude to it's parent.... infact i'll admit it, I HAVE said word to the affect of: "hey, you better listen to your Mummy, she's trying to help you!"... without fail the mother has looked at me gratefully and the child has stopped in it's tracks because a stranger has spoken to them. Why doesn't this occur more often? It's so easy to do it with kindness and compassion.