I don't think you are expecting too much at that age, but some kids are a little slower on the uptake with feeding themselves and are very happy to let someone do the hard work. If she is happy to feed herself, would you be happy to let her eat with her hands? I know it's messy but if you don't mash her veges then she will be able to pick up pieces of boiled potato and carrot etc and it wont be as messy. Paige still eats with her hands sometimes and while I wish she would use her fork all the time, at least she eats kwim? Alternatively you could take her shopping and let her pick out some funky cutlery to use, that might help?