DS feeds himself most of the time, unless its something particularly sloppy and I know it's not going to make it to his mouth on the spoon! LOL. In which case we feed it to him.

All his foods are finger foods.. occassionally he'll stab his fork in them and eat a bit more civilised hehe. All veg & meat etc I cut up so he basically pops it in his mouth, or can take a bite of it. Pasta, he just uses his hands. (Plenty of time to learn to use a fork properly I reckon )

I've actually got a pair of chopsticks which I should get out for him to used to.. they're joined at the top and have an animal at the top, so they're basically used like tongs... perhaps something different like that could work? Novelty might wear off after a while, but it might help with her feeding herself. I think I found them at coles, just one of the things hanging up on the side of the aisles.