First Baby ,Travel and Family Reunion in 2 weeks!

[Karina]

My first thought was dont go!

I only say that because we had a big family party (MILs 60th) to go to when Claire about 7 weeks old and OMG it was awful. I was still in pain (my tailbone) at the time from the birth. Sitting down was still quite uncomfortable and the car trip was only 2 hours. But IMO it was 2 hours too long!

So we get there around 2pm and EVERYONE wanted to hold her and they kept just coming up to us and taking her and passing her around, even though it was clear she was tired. I was so angry. Fuming, in fact. I just wanted to tell them all to bugger off.

They wanted us to do these stupid family portraits before the party, so we're standing on a vineyard in the freezing cold at sunset having frickin pictures taken while Claire was screaming because of being passed around ('so-and-so wants a picture with her') and she wanted milk and they werent giving her back to me. So I take her and walk off so I can sit down and feed her and they all come over and watch and ask when she is going to be finished because they havent finished taking the photos. Whats more important?? MY daughter being warm and fed, or your photos? All I wanted to do was curl up with my girl and cuddle her and give her milk. So she finshes her feed and they want to give her to the four-year-olds to hold for some photos. I was reluctant, but DH wanted to so I said ok. To top it off, I didnt even get to hold my own daughter for the stupid photos - MIL insisted on it and wouldnt let it go. I felt so small. I hated being there.

Then we go back to their place for a while where there is more passing around while I am saying she needs to sleep but they were being a-holes and not listening. So then off we go to the party (this is about 3 hours after the photos) and they are playing really loud music and Claire is really unsettled. Anyway, people keep annoying us and I eventually cracked it and went outside and sat in the car for the second half of the party, missing all the speeches (not that it bothered me because I didnt even want to be there in the first place).

Anyways.. sorry I blabbed on for so long. I was basiclly trying to sy that I thought it would be ok to go, but it turned out to be a bad idea in my case. I hated being there and I hated how everyone was just all over my girl and wouldnt leave us alone, wouldnt give me any privacy etc.

I guess its so hard knowing how you will be, especilly if its your first bub. Can you just wait until your bub is born or until a week or so before the reunion before you give a definte answer? Its a bit harsh for them to expect you to give a definate answer now considering your position..? anyway, thats my opinion.

[Emma1979]

karina that is exactly how i would have felt, you poor thing, there is nothing worse... i bet now you think, with your second, how different you will be right? i know i think now when i have another i wont give a dam about offending anyone, if i want my baby i will demand my baby and if i dont feel like giving her to someone to hold i will just say it.... ive actually gone as far to already say that i will take visitors on the first day in hospital, but after that strictly NO VISITORS, except my DP and DD... (oh i am nowhere near trying to conceive, just getting in early!!)

the thing is, you imagine yourself being so relaxed, but when your baby comes along its amazing how people take over, and being a first time mum you don't seem to have the confidence to tell people 'NO'.... or to put your foot down and say no, the four year olds aren't holding her, and no, she's tired now give her back etc..... that was a huge shock to me, that i suddenly felt powerless around all these 'experienced' well meaning people that have no idea how much they stood on your toes. of course i'd probably say it a bit politer than that, but stern nonetheless. oh the second time round things are going to be so different!! :-)
ooops thread hijack, sorry...... at least you are getting some real insights though, hehe.