other than "please do not do that, you are hurting name" "if you do that Name wont want to play with you" etc or if she is lashing out because she is frustrated maybe really focus on "if you get upset or mad (if someone makes you upset or mad) you need to use your words" and implement it in every situation... Not very helpful really... I'm another that just got whatever i did wrong done back to me. Hopefully you get the advice you need soon.
That's a good one OceanPrincess