Hi Emz.
1) I wouldn't worry about it too much but, perhaps just give her a spoon every meal to hold onto & get used to, whilst you feed her with another spoon.
2) My DD, Hailey, used to hit other kids. Conveniently she started doing this whilst we were at Tresillian for sleeping problems, and the carers just told me to not give it too much attention/fuss (same with the hurting themselves) as it can make them do it even more to get the attention. Advice they gave me was to remove the child from the situation and tell them a firm no (sitting at their level). She subsequently only did it for about 2 weeks.
3) I've noticed Hailey does this more often when she gets really frustrated. She'll grab at her shirt and stretch it or bite her arm, or even smack the nearest thing to her. I think it's just a way of them venting frustration. I just try to explain why she's frustrated as much as possible and find this helps. They understand much more than we give them credit for. If she's just not listening, I just use the art of distraction, singing songs etc. Works every time
4) I'm with Sarah-H, repeat the words in small phrases...they pick up words in their own time. I know a couple of bubs that stuck to grunting & pointing for a while, but you could tell they knew a lot and eventually they start using them. Read lots too. We probably read about 10 books to Hailey a night - she just loves them.