I think you are a saint! For everyone, sleep issues equals maniac cranky people. It is so normal to feel like you are!! Fwiw I have been a bit rough with dd when she won't lie still etc. It sux, but it happens and we gave to move on and try to improve.
Ok, so let's try and solve this. What if you really shook things up and just tried to pretend she doesn't need a day sleep. Just wing it each day and if she seems tired, just take her for a walk In the pram.
The for nights, would you consider putting her in a bed and sleeping in the same room as her? Maybe get her to sleep on a matress on the floor of your room.
Take the path of least resistance hun. stop trying and just let it happen. It's hard, but once you let it all go...all your expectations etc, you will feel so much better.
Hth and you dont think I'm a crazy hippy lady. I just want you to feel confident again that you're an awesome mummy!!
DD1 is HORRIBLE when she teeths and i always assumed she was teething when she was having restless nights, at about 15mths (right as DD2 was due) she was becoming really bad but didn't seem to be teething, wasn't having any issues during the day.
She would come into our room and be fine though, head would hit the pillow and OUT COLD, a lot of mums at my MG experienced the same thing around the same time so i highly doubt it's because your PG but what i found made a HUGE difference with her... A PILLOW.
I bought a kids pillow from Big W, at the start i was so paranoid i kept it under the fitted sheet which she liked but wasn't as comfy, now it's just out like normal, she sleeps on it, cuddles it etc and outside of teething she sleeps really well.
Oh hun, big hugs to you. Unfortunately it seems to be common around that age...doesnt make things easier for you though.
My dd1 was a shocker. From around 9 months old (early starter!) until 19 months..just before dd2 was born. She would fight going to sleep, then wake up around 2 am for 2 hours..just about every night. She screamed and carried on like a pork chop. Both dh and I were at wits end. Its hard when youre so tired not to loose it. I know too that I was rough with her and ended up hating myself for it...but understanding that it was out of shear tiredness and exhaustion and love and confusion. I went to sleep school...didnt help. I know she had problems with self settling, but it was something else too...maybe developmental. 2 weeks before dd2 was born, she snapped out of the carry on and worked out how to sleep better. She wasnt great, but at least she wasnt up each night. Her sleep improved 100 fold after puting her in a big bed.
Sorry I cant give you answers as to why, but I do hope that its just a stage she is going through that will be over fast. Do you have someone to look after her while you get some sleep?
We had similar fun and games with DD between about 10 and 14 months. Brought a whole new dimension to sleep deprivation. In the end I finally listened to the Bear and tried taking the mattress out of the cot and putting it on the floor in her room. I could lay down beside her to get her to go to sleep, and same when she woke through the night. It was much easier for me than having to get her out of the cot and then put her back in. She started sleeping better about 13 or 14 months. She is still not great, wakes up once and sometimes twice, but 95% of the time it only takes about five or ten minutes now to get her to go back to bed and sleep. it is such a hard time and it does terrible things to you losing so much sleep - and being pregnant too it must be a killer. You'll get through it one way or another. One thing it has shown me is that I can function on less sleep than I ever imagined. Not something I ever wanted to learn but that's life!
DS decided he didn't want to sleep in his own cot from 6mths. We ended up at a sleep clinic where we did a version of controlled crying. DH ended up having to settle him. We put DS into the cot and say "sleep time, go to sleep" he'd cry and cry, but it was a case of listening to the crying and when he escalated then go into him and calm him down. Whenever he laid down it was a "Good boy" in a soothing voice. The first night was really bad but by the second night he was getting the hang of it. Now he will sleep in his cot, although he wakes often. I sleep on a mattress on the floor, so I can get to him before he wakes fully (otherwise it takes hours to resettle).
Your not a bad mum - you need a girl's night out (take yourself out to a movie) or go during the day, whatever time it works for your family.
I have no advice but I hope you get to the bottom of it soon, and get some good sleep. You are not a horrible person or a bad mum, look at how upset you are and how you are trying to get help to sort it out, definitely not a bad mama.
Go easy on yourself and try to rest when you can, being pg as well can't be easy
I don't remember going through the exact same thing, but I know when DS was a newborn and I wasn't getting much sleep at all, I would be so cranky I would swear when I went in to his room and I mean nasty swear... I'm a very quiet and calm type person usually.
Honestly, sleep deprivation is like torture, so try not to beat yourself up too much. Sounds like you are doing all the right things. Hope the Paed can help you out xoxo
Of course the new baby is playing on your mind (and stays there thanks to all the well wishers who ask what you will do). You're a great mummy, and I hope you get some much needed rest soon.
Thanks everyone for the hugs.
I feel heaps better now, Dh and I had a great chat when he got home and worked out how we are going to deal with the situation. I think I feel so much pressure from people about letting her into our bed, I always say to myself just go with the flow so I dont know why I find this situation so hard. We have decided that we put her to bed in her bed and if she wakes up and we cant settle her then we will bring her to our bed, if she doesnt settle there we will get up with her and start from the beginning.
Arcadia - no way do I think you are a crazy hippy lady, what you say is usually how I am as a mum, no expectations just go with what she wants to do and it has always worked, I think subconciously I am worried how things will be when the new baby comes along, when I should not be worrying about it because I dont know whats going to happen and what ever happens will happen if that makes any sense
If i dont give her a day sleep she will fall asleep at 6pm so DH and I have agreed that if she has no day sleep and falls asleep at 6pm and wakes at 10pm then so be it we will work with it, we go to bed late anyway.
OceanPrincess - thanks for your reply, I hope your situation gets better soon, if you need someone to talk to please PM message me, you can vent to me anytime, I know how much it helps. I have a Dr appt on Tuesday and will be getting a referral to the Paed then so not sure when the appt is yet.
Zarava - its interesting what you said about the pillow as I have also consider this, maybe I give it a go, I guess it cant hurt she will use it eventually when she is older anyway even if she doesnt use it now.
Thanks to everyone for your stories and advice, it does help hearing them and for you to make the effort to reply to my thread really means alot.
Heres hoping things get better. It feels better already knowing we have some sort of plan worked out.
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