First - you are NOT a useless mum. You are learning, everyone gets thrown in the deep end with a baby and its like we are expected to know what to do!! Well, we don't. They are new little people, even on your 2nd or 3rd - they are usually so different than the 1st child that you are continuously learning new things.
Both of mine liked to be settled in different ways. DS liked being patted and have a dummy. DD liked being rocked in a certain motion and wouldn't settle any other way.
Have you had her checked for any reflux problems? DD had silent reflux so she wouldn't stay asleep for more than 5 minutes at around 8 weeks of age. Which was most frustrating when I had a toddler who was just cutting out his day sleeps at the same time!
So try and chill a bit - I always say in my head when I'm trying to settle them - ahh well, if they don't go to sleep its ok - so if they DON'T - it IS ok. And if they do - BONUS!!
You are doing a fantastic job. Keep up the good work
Was going to suggest reflux also, I really feel for you. The first 9 weeks of Charlie's life she had undiagnosed silent reflux and it was hell. I verged pnd from the sleep deprivation. I can't get my little one into the cot of a day and she sleeps on me but i feel that the security she gets of a day helps. She sleeps through the night on days where i hold her more.
My cousin uses the sling to stop her baby's silent reflux during the day and it's the only way she can settle her. Some babies need more cuddles I think. I know it's frustrating but it will get easier with time. it's hard being lost and sleep deprived. Motherhood isn't an easy thing to adjust to but it's very rewarding. It's been the most exhausting job I've had to date but I wouldn't trade my high maintenance baby for the world!
You are so not a useless mum! Both of you are still learning and it's not easy! Even with #2 I was feeling a bit lost all over again as the girls were so different from each other.
DD2 would not settle in her cradle during the day at all for the first 8 weeks so I got her to sleep using the sling and carrying her around for hours on end. She wouldn't sleep if I sat down so I had to stand up while she slept. I did my shopping and walked the dog while she got sleep. My best effort was to bake a banana cake with DD1 while DD2 was sleeping in the sling
However, we persisted with the cradle. She started by sleeping 5 minutes before crying to get up, then 10 min and so on.
I would also get her checked for reflux. DD2 is a chucker but it doesn't bother her at all unless she has wind. So it could also be that she is having trouble getting the wind up.
Be kind to yourself - it is a huge learning curve for you and your DD
Having BFing troubles does not make you useless - otherwise most of the womesn I know, myself included, would all be useless mums.
Having a baby who needs a bit more feeding & help settling to sleep doesn't mean you are useless either, especially at her age.
Ar didn't settle into a nice kind of pattern or self-settle until she was older than your little girl, & she is the most placid chilled out baby I have had so far. The others were all much older - months older.
It might do hergood to stay home for a bit if you are thinking she doesn't like going out, but I know how awful it is to be stuck at home!Can you leave her with someone for half an hour while you duck out to the shops?
You are doing a great job. It's never easy & it DOES get better I promise
The one thought that kept me going sometimes was - everything changes - and this will too.
Definitely NOT a useless mum - just a sleep deprived mummy getting used to all the changes going on!!! Well done on persevering with the breastfeeding!
My DS hates sleeping in his cot during the day - ie he won't. He will sleep next to me in bed tho - when DH hops out to go to work at 6am. I can feed, stoke, cuddle and pat and when he dozes off - so do I! He will also sleep on the couch during the day and his day sleeping seems to be improving. Can you hop in the big bed together during the day?
you're not useless at all but it does all get totally overwhelming some days.
you're doing an awesome job to perservere with bfing - it's tough enough at the start without any problems & yet you've kept going through just about everything that could be thrown at you
it's hard when they go from being 'sleepy' to being more aware of what's going on around them & really fighting sleep. DS did it (and still does)...in fact, to combat it recently he's been feeding to sleep for his days sleeps (blissful....naughty mummy that i am!) but this morning he just wouldn't...so i had to go through lots of crying till he fell asleep in my arms (i won't use CC or CIO methods)....before i could put him down to sleep. also, i found that early on it was easy to get him to sleep in the pram bassinet, then he went through a stage of only sleeping in my arms before he decided that the pram bassinet was okay...i'd just try every so often & one day he didn't wake up screaming when he was put down. bonus!
okay, i'm going round in circles, but what i was trying to say there was that in my very limited experience so far, they change what they like/want with regards to sleep (usually just when you think you have it all under control) and you just need to try something different until you find what works.
also, i had someone comment last week that my DS was so nice & peaceful in his pram & that her kids had never done that. but that was early in the shopping trip & within 15 minutes i was carrying him because he was crying in his pram - so even if other people look like they have calm, quiet babies they might not be 5 minutes from now!
i found going for walks saved my sanity when i started to get frustrated. a combination of being out of the house & those lovely exercise endorphins really did the trick
anyway, that's all very garbled but i just wanted to say that you're doing a great job, you're perfectly normal & not all calm looking babies are always that way!
now, i think i might go & have a shower because it's officially afternoon & i'm still in my pjs!
Sweety you are not useless! In fact I think your amazing for still bf even after all the issues you have had.
I could have written a lot of your post! Do you think your princess is windy? I started Ethan on brauer's colic relief and its done wonders for him. Does a bath/massage settle her? Maybe a nice warm bath in the evenings might help her to settle?
I don't know what else to suggest hun but you are definitely not alone!
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