Thank you all so so much for your replies, it really helps to have your support and to know that I am not alone! I really felt terrible yesterday and was also angry at myself for acting the way I did, as well as feeling angry towards DD. She just really knows how to push my buttons when I am already at the end of my tether. I did have a little chat with her last night and I said sorry for getting so angry. She also said sorry Mummy and gave me a big kiss and cuddle. We then spent lots of one on one time together last night after DS was in bed, just drawing and playing with stickers, so hopefully she knows I still love her!
My lovely DH (who was home studying for an exam he sat last night) was home yesterday luckily and he took time out of his study to watch the kids so I could go out for an hour and get a coffee ON MY OWN! (I think that is the first time I have been on my own all year!) and that helped to calm me down. I was shaking I was so angry and frustrated!
I am hoping today will be better, although I am anticipating a rough time when we go out in public as she will want the dummy, so I will just have to try and be strong. I can be as stubborn as she can be (bad combo hey!). I was up 2 hourly with the baby last night so we'll see how my patience withstands today....
Im glad your feeling a little better today Sometiems we have t get to rock bottom before we realise that we really need some ME time!!
Maybe see if you can try and do the coffee thing once a week or fortnight or SOMETHING like that- that is just an hour of you- or try and catch up with a friend baby free for an hour. I know its not always easy to do and worse if you have to plan with someone else- so maybe just on your own would be nice- a walk or a coffee or just a break!!!
Hey hun, you know I have much empathy . As for the public tanties ie. without the dummy, I find it best to get in a 'zone'. I just chill out, like I am super-serene. When he's doing his block I acknowledge that I'm hearing him, and what he's saying.......but as we have talked about earlier you're not having a juice/ride/chocolate (or dummy in your case ) today, so there's no point carrying on about it. He will still carry on, but every now and then I calmly remind him that I can hear him, but I'm not changing my mind. It seems that when I'm like that he KNOWS that I mean it, and he gives up a lot faster. If I'm quick-tempered he can tell that I'm more likely to give in, simply because I'm so frustrated, if that makes sense? Have you had a chat with her about how her dummy is not going to be around during the day anymore?
Might not help you guys, but I thought I'd put it out there. Now, if only I was able to practice it myself a little more often......
ETA (and yes, Friday next week sounds good, and I've checked with Kelly, she's free too!)
I think that most mothers would have been struggled to not lose it after going through what you did
I am glad that your DH gave you some time out as well, it can really help to have that break and just refocus.
I am not sure about the dummy, DD has her just in bed and we don't let her out of bed until she hands it over and it is stored away during the day where she can't get to it. She was weaning herself off it, but has gone back to it but as it is isolated to bed it isn't so bad. It took a bit, but she had to give it up, if we took it, all hell would break lose, but once she was happy to give it up is was good. She now gets up int he morning and gives it to us, if she doesn't want her day sleep she will give us the dummy and point to the door saying up/out. And if she asks for it at all, we would jsut say, so do you want to go to bed do you, and after saying it a few time sshe realises that she doesn't want to go to bed and will find another way for comfort, a cuddle or go and play.
Oh Bun.. I'm glad you're feeling a bit better today!! I think you're doing an amazing job... you're a wonderful Mummy who acted completely NORMAL!! I struggle with just the one of them so god help me with this little one comes along!!!! LOL. Luke sounds just as stubborn as your DS so I completely understand what you're dealing with and have totallly lost the plot a few times myself... usually at home though, so apart from what the neighbours must be thinking.. it's a bit easier!
As for the dummy... we got rid of Luke's when he was 2 and a half and it was SOOOOO much easier than I thought it would be. He was VERY reliant on it too... and we managed to cut it down to just at sleep times (and sometimes in the car)... then I just kept talking to him about how dummy's were for the babies and they needed them more. He was a big boy now, so whenever he was ready, all he had to do was throw them in the big rubbish bin and the 'dummy fairy' would leave him a wonderful present to say thank you! But I kept reminding him that when he did that they would be gone.. but he'd have a present and he really didn't need the dummy anymore anyway. Took a lot of talking... every single day... until one day he turned around and said "I want to throw my dummy's in the bin now". So I gathered them all up... he threw them in the big green bin (so I wouldn't be tempted to get them back out) and he got a train set!! He was so excited about the train set and really only asked for the dummy a couple of times... and all I did was remind him that he got the train set. I thought it was going to be a disaster but it was great.. he was sooo amazing. Only problem was that we lost our day sleeps when the dummy went!! And Luke has a teddy bear and blanket.. so that helped too! Good luck with it... it's not easy but if you just keep it to sleep times, then wait till she's ready to give it up altogether.
Definitely keen to catch up next Friday too... so keep us informed!!! I'm desperate to get out of the house!! Luke has been a nightmare this morning, I almost lost it again and these are the days I wish I had my Mum nearby to just drive on over and chill out!! Oh well.
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Sometiems we have t get to rock bottom before we realise that we really need some ME time!!
. As for the public tanties ie. without the dummy, I find it best to get in a 'zone'. I just chill out, like I am super-serene. When he's doing his block I acknowledge that I'm hearing him, and what he's saying.......but as we have talked about earlier you're not having a juice/ride/chocolate (or dummy in your case 
but as it is isolated to bed it isn't so bad. It took a bit, but she had to give it up, if we took it, all hell would break lose, but once she was happy to give it up is was good. She now gets up int he morning and gives it to us, if she doesn't want her day sleep she will give us the dummy and point to the door saying up/out. And if she asks for it at all, we would jsut say, so do you want to go to bed do you, and after saying it a few time sshe realises that she doesn't want to go to bed and will find another way for comfort, a cuddle or go and play.
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