Im glad your feeling a little better today Sometiems we have t get to rock bottom before we realise that we really need some ME time!!
Maybe see if you can try and do the coffee thing once a week or fortnight or SOMETHING like that- that is just an hour of you- or try and catch up with a friend baby free for an hour. I know its not always easy to do and worse if you have to plan with someone else- so maybe just on your own would be nice- a walk or a coffee or just a break!!!
Hey hun, you know I have much empathy . As for the public tanties ie. without the dummy, I find it best to get in a 'zone'. I just chill out, like I am super-serene. When he's doing his block I acknowledge that I'm hearing him, and what he's saying.......but as we have talked about earlier you're not having a juice/ride/chocolate (or dummy in your case ) today, so there's no point carrying on about it. He will still carry on, but every now and then I calmly remind him that I can hear him, but I'm not changing my mind. It seems that when I'm like that he KNOWS that I mean it, and he gives up a lot faster. If I'm quick-tempered he can tell that I'm more likely to give in, simply because I'm so frustrated, if that makes sense? Have you had a chat with her about how her dummy is not going to be around during the day anymore?
Might not help you guys, but I thought I'd put it out there. Now, if only I was able to practice it myself a little more often......
ETA (and yes, Friday next week sounds good, and I've checked with Kelly, she's free too!)
I think that most mothers would have been struggled to not lose it after going through what you did
I am glad that your DH gave you some time out as well, it can really help to have that break and just refocus.
I am not sure about the dummy, DD has her just in bed and we don't let her out of bed until she hands it over and it is stored away during the day where she can't get to it. She was weaning herself off it, but has gone back to it but as it is isolated to bed it isn't so bad. It took a bit, but she had to give it up, if we took it, all hell would break lose, but once she was happy to give it up is was good. She now gets up int he morning and gives it to us, if she doesn't want her day sleep she will give us the dummy and point to the door saying up/out. And if she asks for it at all, we would jsut say, so do you want to go to bed do you, and after saying it a few time sshe realises that she doesn't want to go to bed and will find another way for comfort, a cuddle or go and play.
Oh Bun.. I'm glad you're feeling a bit better today!! I think you're doing an amazing job... you're a wonderful Mummy who acted completely NORMAL!! I struggle with just the one of them so god help me with this little one comes along!!!! LOL. Luke sounds just as stubborn as your DS so I completely understand what you're dealing with and have totallly lost the plot a few times myself... usually at home though, so apart from what the neighbours must be thinking.. it's a bit easier!
As for the dummy... we got rid of Luke's when he was 2 and a half and it was SOOOOO much easier than I thought it would be. He was VERY reliant on it too... and we managed to cut it down to just at sleep times (and sometimes in the car)... then I just kept talking to him about how dummy's were for the babies and they needed them more. He was a big boy now, so whenever he was ready, all he had to do was throw them in the big rubbish bin and the 'dummy fairy' would leave him a wonderful present to say thank you! But I kept reminding him that when he did that they would be gone.. but he'd have a present and he really didn't need the dummy anymore anyway. Took a lot of talking... every single day... until one day he turned around and said "I want to throw my dummy's in the bin now". So I gathered them all up... he threw them in the big green bin (so I wouldn't be tempted to get them back out) and he got a train set!! He was so excited about the train set and really only asked for the dummy a couple of times... and all I did was remind him that he got the train set. I thought it was going to be a disaster but it was great.. he was sooo amazing. Only problem was that we lost our day sleeps when the dummy went!! And Luke has a teddy bear and blanket.. so that helped too! Good luck with it... it's not easy but if you just keep it to sleep times, then wait till she's ready to give it up altogether.
Definitely keen to catch up next Friday too... so keep us informed!!! I'm desperate to get out of the house!! Luke has been a nightmare this morning, I almost lost it again and these are the days I wish I had my Mum nearby to just drive on over and chill out!! Oh well.
Thank you so much for all your replies again. Thankfully today has been a much better day! She seems to have accepted that she is not going to get the dummy and is not even bothering to whinge after the initial request is well and truly denied!!
Beema - what you are doing sounds exactly like what we are doing. It seems to help having DD hand it over herself and she seems to understand and give up on whinging if she doesn't feel like a sleep too. We were also going really well with weaning her off it a little while ago but then right when we though we were getting somewhere, she regressed! Difficult little things...
Janie - I love your idea about the ZONE! I think that is similar to what I do when I am really stubborn about something and DD seems to know it. She will often just whinge and whinge until I eventually give in, but when I am REALLY set on something, she must sense it in my tone of voice or something, because she seems to understand that no matter what she does, she is not going to get her own way!! It really has been much easier than I anticipated today, but I suppose we will see how things go over the next few days...
Kelly - that's funny, I just bought DD a train set and thought I would give it to her at Christmas (she loves train sets!), but now I am thinking that is a very good idea to give it to her when she gets rid of the dummy for good. For the moment I will let her have it at nights until she is a little older, and then hopefully she will understand if I try the same thing you did with Luke and I can wean her off it for good. We have also been doing the 'dummies are for babies' thing and 'you don't need that anymore' but although it worked for a while, it doesn't anymore! I reckon the dummy fairy line will definitely work, will start trying that too I think. Thank you!
Kel & Janie - we are still finalising where we will be staying next week, I will PM you both to try and arrange something when I know where we will be. Most likely in the city at this stage, and DH is busy all Fri am so would love to catch up then if we can!
Sometiems we have t get to rock bottom before we realise that we really need some ME time!!
Reply With Quote. As for the public tanties ie. without the dummy, I find it best to get in a 'zone'. I just chill out, like I am super-serene. When he's doing his block I acknowledge that I'm hearing him, and what he's saying.......but as we have talked about earlier you're not having a juice/ride/chocolate (or dummy in your case
but as it is isolated to bed it isn't so bad. It took a bit, but she had to give it up, if we took it, all hell would break lose, but once she was happy to give it up is was good. She now gets up int he morning and gives it to us, if she doesn't want her day sleep she will give us the dummy and point to the door saying up/out. And if she asks for it at all, we would jsut say, so do you want to go to bed do you, and after saying it a few time sshe realises that she doesn't want to go to bed and will find another way for comfort, a cuddle or go and play.
Bookmarks