From someone who just had to deal with my family (including both my parents, who haven't spoken to each other in 10 years) and my ILs visiting to see the new baby, I would tell everyone a different EDD. And I wouldn't be letting anyone come and stay tbh.
DH and I are lucky that our house is too small to have visitors stay overnight. But my ILs stayed in a hotel and came to visit every day for three days from early morning to late evening and it was hell. They didn't bother helping around the house either.
My Mum has been hanging around for about a month now and was pretty peeved when I hadn't gone into labour by the time of my EDD. She phoned me every day, to find out if I was in any pain and in the end DH and I pulled out the phone and ignored everyone for a week until he was born at 41weeks.
There is a real reason why it's called a Babymoon. That time is really important for you, your partner and the baby to get to know each other, deal with the crazy hormones, establish breastfeeding, heal from the birth, and rest. If family is visiting, they need to stick to your boundaries and help you out. If they don't like the boundaries you set up, that's their baggage and shouldn't be your concern.
Good luck. I wish I'd told my family a different EDD.
I'd actually be inclined to give them a later EDD (unless there is a family member you were hoping to have there as a birth support). Like persephone, i too had a multitude of visitors and even though they kinda/sorta helped, it did mean that DH, bubs and I didnt have any real alone time to establish bonding and establish the concept that we had just had a baby (as dinners needed cooking, floors cleaned, general entertainment, food shopping etc).
I HIGHLY recommend not having ANYONE stay overnight at home. you've got a great idea with getting them to stay in hotels/motels (this might also make them less likely to turn up before bubs is born ).
Although it is lovely to have family celebrate, it is such a big life changing event and such a precious time for you and DH to bond as a couple as you enter the journey of parenthood together (especially if DH has to go to work fairly soon after bubs is born).
Depending on your family and how honest you can be with them etc, I would either give them a later due date, or be totally honest with them and say- look we are first time parents and would like a couple of weeks as a family to bond, I would also try and get parents and in laws to come at different times. Maybe try a different tact and say that DH will be back at work and so you might need some extra help so if your parents come for a week then your IL's you can spread out the 'help' :wink: . Families sometimes forget about the mum's after the baby is born, and it is all focused on the baby, so you need to stand up right from the get go and say what YOU want, especially in regards to people staying in the house.
I am in the same boat as I have no family where we live now, and DP works away so I am by myself with DD for at least three quarters of the week. I invited my mum to come for a couple of weeks to help out and to look after DD when bubs is born. It must have been the pregnancy hormones speaking because she stayed for a week after DD and I was ready to kill myself or her by the end of it. But I do need the help and I know that she will do the housework cleaning etc while she is here (a bit to much of the cleaning and be vocal about it while she does it, but at least she does it), so I know she will help and so she stays at the house with us. And then about a month ago my FIL and his wife invite themselves up around the time of my EDD because they will be travelling around this time anyway. So peeved, and they can stay in thier stupid camper as I actually invited my mum first. And then as a stupid knee jerk reaction I invited my parents for christmas. How to stress myself out.
Anyway, sorry for my rant. If you have one person stay with you, make it the person who will be the most help and will actually do stuff for you. Anybody else can stay somewhere else. You do not run a hotel, and if they want to see bub they will do it. Good luck with the decision making and don't worry about pleasing everyone cause you can't, this time is about your new family.
Wow, thanks everyone for your replies. I guess I was just a little worried that it would look rude in my behalf. But I think now, knowing what you Ladies have gone through, I will tell them it is for "their" benefit that they come later. We had our scan yesterday and all was well (although they did say it was measuring 1 week behind, but I know my AF date, and am pretty certain on my O date, as I always have regular cycles). So naturally they all asked if we had a clearer due date. I told them end of Feb, and that they had gotten a different date to me. I will wait a little bit (maybe after the 12 week mark somewhere) and mention it again, and let them know I what I would like, it is our Baby after all!
Thank you all for you advice, I figured those that have had Babies would be able to speak from experience, and tell me what they would have changed.
Congrats on your pregnancy. I totally agree with everyone else - tell them a much later date if you think they might just show up.
And I'd discourage houseguests early on (unless it's someone you're happy to have around and who is going to help out) - maybe suggest if people want to stay then they'll have to wait till 2-3 months to visit, when things are a bit more settled. Remind them of the crying baby through the night too.
All the best~~
Bambino, I never told my mother my due date with any of mine just to stop her from worrying more than anything, plus she didn't have that anxious wait at the end with me and she always loved the surprise phone call telling her that the baby had been born. She never took it the wrong way because I was upfront with her, so I hope that your family is the same when you tell them
I am in a similar boat. Can't tell them the wrong due date. (because, seriously, MIL has every appointment, scan and how many weeks I am on her calendar and she would figure it out) MIL is wanting to allow 10 days to go over, then a "couple of days" to come home, and then they'll come. I have said no.
I have asked them to visit in January, when DH's work schedule is completely manic and I will definitely need the help. But this isn't soon enough for their liking, apparently.
I'm so glad that other people's experiences validate this decision.
and in the end DH and I pulled out the phone and ignored everyone for a week until he was born at 41weeks.
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and she would figure it out) MIL is wanting to allow 10 days to go over, then a "couple of days" to come home, and then they'll come. I have said no. 
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