meegm we all lose it sometimes it's just natural to get overloaded and lose it. Is there someone you can call who you feel won't judge you? Or you could try and call the health nurse line or even the breastfeeding line. I called the other day just to talk to someone who didn't know me and i felt they didn't judge me and they were amazing. Don't be so hard on yourself you are doing an amazing job. Take a deep breath go for a walk etc and start again.
Let me know how you go, sending positive thoughts and love your way