Parenting labels..why do we use them?

[Olive]

i think all parents should be happy and comfortable with the way they have chosen to parent and not let what others do bother them

[Heaven]

I think it's just used to easily explain what sort of parent you are. If I say I'm a gentle parent people know where I come from and how I likely parent. Doesn't mean everything I do is 'gentle' but I'm more that way inclined and it's easy to say 'I'm a gentle parent' than explain everything you do, iykwim.

[Astrid]

Labels are really a tool, they help us work out where we can get information and support from. They are not a brand or a way to make people feel bad. If something is listed as gentle then I am more likely to read it when I am looking for advice for a problem. Saves me a lot of time, I don't have to start reading a lot different articles to find what I am after, just a few.

I am sure whoever it was who first coined the term gentle did not wake up one morning and go "oh, lets find a name for parenting that will make other parents feel like crap".

[~Raven~]

I am sure whoever it was who first coined the term gentle did not wake up one morning and go "oh, lets find a name for parenting that will make other parents feel like crap".

I reccon this too

[Cocolove]

I reccon this too

The point is, "Gentle" Parenters judge the hell outta other mums because they dont choose to smother their children Yet mums like myself just go about our lives and let mums be mums its just a bit contradictive, GP's want to be left alone to parent in their way, and so do we

[Lulu]

The point is, "Gentle" Parenters judge the hell outta other mums because they dont choose to smother their children Yet mums like myself just go about our lives and let mums be mums its just a bit contradictive, GP's want to be left alone to parent in their way, and so do we

Oh ok, I must have read this wrong then?

[Astrid]

Honestly in defence of "gentle" parents, often they are the ones attacked and critisised in the real world. Often without provocation at all, often they are the ones going about doing their own thing. To find a gentle parent "attacking" another parent in my experience is quite rare and if it happens, tends to only happen online. Also any criticisms tend to be vents amongst other gentle parents, so the only way that someone could feel attacked by that would be if they were reading threads that they should not.

For example - I don't control cry, as such I would not go into a pro- control crying thread or forum and if I did I would have to deal with what ever they had to say about parents who cuddle their babies to sleep. It would upset me to read it, so I just don't there.

[Heaven]

The point is, "Gentle" Parenters judge the hell outta other mums because they dont choose to smother their children Yet mums like myself just go about our lives and let mums be mums its just a bit contradictive,

Well done on not being judgemental there. Totally minding your own business .

I'm not sure I understand where you're coming from now, you don't want to be judged right? But it's ok to judge others? That's not gonna fly unfortunately. I find if I am non-judgemental towards others I will get the same in return, generally. I liked what you said in your first post:

We all make different choices, my son & daughters are happy, well adjusted & healthy we do whats right for us and we are no worse off for it.

[krisp]

The thing is people judge, people put labels on themsleves and others - it's just the way things are. We are human, we are all flawed.

Myself? - I consider myself a "gentle" parent. Not because I co-sleep or did extended breast feeding or a baby wore but because I am gentle with my children and I love them unconditionally. I kiss their teary faces and bruised knees when they fall down, I cuddle and sing to them at 3am if that's what they need to feel safe after a bad dream, I try and explain why there are clouds in the sky and why the sky is blue and the last words they hear from me every night is "Mummy loves you".

You see I AM gentle, I'm not labelled, it's simply what I do so that when my children encounter others they in turn will be gentle....

It's not a label it's a lifestyle choice.

[Shanti]

The point is, "Gentle" Parenters judge the hell outta other mums because they dont choose to smother their children Yet mums like myself just go about our lives and let mums be mums its just a bit contradictive, GP's want to be left alone to parent in their way, and so do we

didn't you just 'judge' Gentle parenters then by saying what you just said?! I 'gentle' parent my daughter but I don't 'smother' her so you r implying that we, as gentle parents, do that to our kids? Hun, you need to be a bit more 'tactful' in the way you word things. And generalising like that...... I certainly don't judge other Mum's.

Yes I use gentle parenting for my DD, that is how we CHOOSE to do it in our family. Doesn't mean we don't set boundaries, have limits etc.... BUT I don't walk around saying I'm a gentle parent blah blah.... it just doesn't come up! If people ask.... then I say we co-sleep (out of necessity to survive!!! LOL!!), I BF, baby wear etc.... thats my style I like.

I don't see how the 'terminology' can upset you? Regardless whether you have PND or not.. (with all respect).

ps - your parcel was sent today

[Astrid]

Interesting.

I just wanted to add here that I think a lot of it comes down to not what you do, but how you are. We talk about gentle parenting assuming it means bf, co-slept, sling-worn, cloth-bummed, but who says you have to do any of that to be a gentle parent-er? I always thought it was more about having empathy for your children, respecting them as little people and treating them as such.

I do not see cloth bummed as being "gentle", I see what I put on their bum not really related to how I parent as it is a practicality, more of a lifestyle choice. So when I refer to gentle, I never mean cloth. I suppose it does really show that labels are what we choose them to be.