There's the gentle mum, the attached mum, the working mum, the gina ford/tizzy hall mum, the stay at home mum, the social mum, the helicopter mum...
NOWHERE in any of these labels is "the good mum". Because we're ALL good mums, we just have different styles. And society likes to label a mum with a style. I have been classed as gentle/attached mother - and also working mother, SAHM, uninvolved mother, over-involved mother, bad mother (by my own mother!)... I just let it go now.
I would say I was more gentle than not: I occasionally co-sleep (DS wandered into my room at 3am today), more usually when DS is ill; I did breast and formula for feeds; I use cloth and disposable nappies; I didn't cuddle DS when he fell from the dining room table yesterday, DH did that because DS is upsetting DH by not wanting Daddy so I'm letting DH do more, even if it means DS is screaming two seconds longer; I babywear not because we "can't afford a pram" (as some locals thought) but because I have no room to store it in my tiny home - I am getting a bike with a child seat on the back for DS very soon as I'm sick of carrying him everywhere now, but when he was younger I certainly used the pram; I went back to work when DS was 13m old part-time, then full-time when he was 2 (now unemployed)...
My point is, I have had praises and criticism for doing what I wanted with DS. And had severe depression at the time. It made it easier: I knew everyone thought I was a crap mum so the odd praise was really wonderful.
I've said this in other posts: what do strangers know? Only what they see for two seconds or what you tell them.
Who gets to judge if you're a good mum or not? Your child. Do everything for your child with your child in mind and you'll be a good mum. Because that baby of yours is the ONLY person entitled to an opinion.
Yes, you'll get things wrong. See my sig - I know I get stuff wrong. But mostly I get it right for Liebling. He thinks I'm the world's greatest everything. That's all I care about.
I wouldnt even know where to begin to categorise my parenting.
Maybe SAHM/Social mum. I take my kids to the park, we go to movies, we play. My second DD was prem but i couldnt BF for anymore than 2 weeks.
I sometimes push DS in a pram I sometimes Carry him I sometimes put him in his backpack carrier & I sometimes go out without him, I still party on the very odd occasion hell im only 25, Motherhood is a learnt skill for me i envy those who it came naturally too, I have days where Im in tears from my hyperactive 5 year old my child screams for no reason she kicks bites hits and tells me she hates me, but I still think im doing the best that I can.
I don't think it always comes naturally. In fact I think everyone is on L plates at the start.....and the middle.
Actually parenting my sensory son comes a little more naturally than the other 2 because I'm as nutty as he is.
You don't have to find your label, you can create your own if you want.
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