My boys are 19 months apart, but would have been 20 months apart if Tom hadn't arrived early! I can give you a heap of advice, but I'll try not to write an essay.

Firstly, don't be too worried about it being hard work. It is sometimes, that's for sure, but the positives definitely outweigh the negatives. And I have to say that most of the time it is easier than I was expecting. They get along REALLY well and always and they entertain each other a lot so that I can actually leave them playing by themselves while I do things. Occassionally Jack might get a little rough but never enough to do any real damage - he just might make Tom cry and then he'll hug him to say sorry. Do prepare for a tough first 2 months though. For me that was the hardest as Tom had colic and was not a great sleeper in the beginning and I was exhausted. But once we were through that it got heaps better.

Secondly, wrt preparing the older child. Well, we were lucky that Jack had great comprehension at that age. We talked about the baby in mummy's tummy constantly, and he would feel it. We talked about the baby being his brother or sister and he "helped" set up the room for the baby. We told him that he was lucky to be having a baby brother or sister and that mummy and daddy would need his help, and that he would have to help look after his brother or sister. At the time we didn't know how much he understood but after the birth it was obvious he had understood all along. Also Tom brought a present for Jack with him, and this stayed at the hossy while I was there as something to play with there, and then went home. That seemed to work a treat.

One thing I would do differently though, is explain that mummy will be in the hossy for a few days and nights. Somewhere along the line we forgot to prepare Jack for this and this was the one thing that did upset him. He was great with his brother but really upset with me for not coming home. It took a few days after I got home for him to be back to normal with me.

One other thing I will mention, is that due to Tom's unexpectedly early and fast arrival, Jack came to the hossy with us and was picked up from there by friends. Then after the birth DH picked him up at the friends house and brought him back to the hossy. So he saw me in the labour suite before and after delivery. This wasn't planned ahead, but in fact worked really well. I think seeing me in the same place before delivery and then there with the baby really helped him to understand better. This might be something for you to think about.

I hope this helps. Good luck with it all, I think you will love having two close together.