question for those who have bub in a bassinette in their room and your DH/DP

[Taurean]

DH doesn't tend to wake up (like a lot of our DHs it seems!) and if DD2 is really unsettled, I take her to the lounge and watch TV. I've only done that once I think, she's been really good.

I put the change table in our room too and either switch the toilet light on in our ensuite for a bit of light or just use the little night light I bought from Ikea (little rechargeable green light sold in the kids section.

I feed DD in bed and play on my phone to keep myself awake. It provides enough light to see what's going on too.

We haven't had an issue at all with DD2 and she settles back to sleep easily most of the time and so do I. If we were to have a really bad night, DH would happily move to the spare room.

DD1 was super noisy so we put her in her own room at 9 weeks. Until then she slept in the bassinet in our room and I took her into the lounge for feeds and the nursery for nappy changes. I realise now doing that was a mistake. Moving rooms to feed, the extra light, watching TV, etc meant we were both 'too' awake a lot of the time making it difficult to go back to sleep.

[~clover~]

I slept through ex's 4am alarm on snooze for 20 minutes for months. I would wake to DDs every grunt, but did not hear that alarm. DD got used to it as well. & it wasn't quiet!

[beansbeans!]

Im sorry, but in my house we are in it together. Our girls stay in our room until 1yr+. The night time feeds, dh would get up change nappy and have a cuddle while I went to the loo and then got myself ready for a feed. he then kept me company whilst I fed, especially when i was so sleepy that i was falling asleep. As they got older, dh just got used to it and would sleep through it. If we were more tired than usual, we would go to bed earlier than normal.

As so co-sleeping and feeding when they were on the outside i would lay in the middlee of the bed so it was comfortable and safe to feed. But to be honest i prefer them sleeping on the outside because it means I can get a cuddle from dh and the bub has more room to sleep

[krysalyss]

I always have trouble waking up and DH doesn't so it used to work for us where DH would get up first and do a nappy change, then I would get up and feed, while DH goes back to bed. It wasn't a problem for DH having to get up and he is such a light sleeper that even if DS had been on the other side of the house he would hear him before I would.

[*Efjay*]

If Mum has to wake for baby, then I don't see why Dad has to stay asleep. I mean here DH rarely did any "afterhours" baby stuff. But if I disturbed him, I disturbed him. Sorry but thats just part of life.
If the baby was having a particularly unsettled night then I would go out of the room & usually come sit on the PC for my own sanity. But I always had a night light for me, a small lamp. This time round I just kept the bathroom light on with the door opened just enough to allow enough light for me to see & then I would push it closed after I changed nappies etc.
We have never had a baby sleep in another room. they are always in bed with us or with in arms reach with out getting out of bed.


If your DH has a problem with being woken, tell him to suck it up.

[~TT40~]

DD's cradle is in our room, and I try to settle her in it and sleep in the bed. but always end up spending the WHOLE night on the couch =( I'm worried about waking DH, because he is a truck driver he HAS to sleep, as he is driving all day. I'm not comfortable enough to have her in bed with both of us... after DH has gone to work (5am) I am happy to have her with me in the bed, but not with both of us.

I could handle it for a couple of nights...but not anymore =( thank god today is friday and tonight I am going to try to feed her in bed as I don't have to worry about DH getting up for work, and we can see how it works...if it is a problem for him.

[onthefly]

T are you sleeping on the couch with baby?

[maybebaby2012]

DH has always been an obnoxiously good sleeper, so he rarely work up but that was nothing that a good kick in the shins didn't fix! He wasn't opposed to being woken in the night though, it's nice to see another friendly face in the cold wee hours!

[kelsbels]

Dh stirs, rolls away from the light and goes back to sleep! Agree with pp, when it's him getting up at night, he can choose where ds sleeps.
In saying that, DS is a good night sleeper and easy to resettle at the moment so if/when that changes, might be a different story.

Oh, but We don't co-sleep, I have DS in bassinet right next to my bed.

[Novella]

DH is a light sleeper and has to get up at 4 .30 for work so he is sleeping in the spare room for now. DD3 is really noisy too but I'm tuned into her now and can sleep through the general noise and wake up to the important noises. Sometimes DH sleeps with us but puts ear plugs in. I turn the Wadrobe light on with the door almost shut to see for nappy changes. The first feed I do on the lounge as dd is liely to settle better if we sit up a big before bed and I get lazy in bed and don't sit up straight enough. The only light we use in the lounge though is from my iPad.

Phebee feeding lying down I don't put bubs on the edge of the bed I can feed with both bb's while facing the same direction. I normally lie on my side and feed the bb closest to the mattress then roll my top shoulder a bit and feed with my top bb ITMS maybe having a bit of a sag in the boobs after three kids helps

[Loveinamist]

I didn't even think about it. If DH needed sleep he knew where to go to get it. He is an adult and wasn't breastfeeding. My tiny baby was my first concern. A nightlight helped with nighttime nappy changes. It was snowing outside when DS was tiny...I was not leaving my warm bedroom for any reason!!!

[Nai]

Dp didn't even stir unless I kicked him, repeatedly! After a week or so I didn't even bother trying to get him up to help, so he slept through pretty much everything. He can still sleep through the girls crying during the night.

[Jellyfish]

DP doesn't stir unless I physically try to wake him and we co-sleep but don't change nappies overnight unless DD2 does a poo (I just use a size bigger nappy) which she hasn't done since she was a few weeks old. She never really cries or anything, just sort of stirs and then I attach her till she settles again without DP even noticing.

[~me~]

Dp didn't even stir unless I kicked him, repeatedly! After a week or so I didn't even bother trying to get him up to help, so he slept through pretty much everything. He can still sleep through the girls crying during the night.

Yep same here! He would often wake in the morning and ask "how was your night dear?"

I kept the bassinet in the room for convenience to start with. I preferred to get up and get out of the room to feed and change baby. I like the peace and quiet of the night out in my lounge, I had the change table all set up, I didn't have music, TV or anything. It was also light enough to see what I was doing.

[phebee]

I am envious of you all. We have a tiny little box house with no room for another bed. The couches are far too uncomfortAble to lie on. DH is a very light sleeper and is the worker ATM. I have no choice but to feed DD in the lounge. I have been feeding / trying to resettle her for 1.5 hours now. DH's alarm has just gone off.


Sent from my iPod touch - sorry for any mistakes!

[briggsy's girl]

DH used to get up, pass DD to me (cot on his side of the bed, grab a nappy, then lay there holding her hand while i changed her (or change her while i held her hand/stroked hair etc). once nappy was changed, i'd lay down to feed her, and he'd take the dirty nappy to the laundry and come back into the room. DD fed to sleep most of the time, so he'd lay there facing us and go back to sleep. i would lay with my arm over her head and down beside her whichever way we were facing, so that i was either creating a barrier between her and Daddy (he never rolled towards her, but when he worked away and would get home, exhausted, in the wee hours, it was a precaution. when she was on the other side of the bed, he'd lay right on the edge of the bed and drag me close to him - i think she ended up with nearly half the bed! When DD was asleep again, he'd put her back in her own bed. he never whinged about lack of sleep or anything

now that she is older, she still rooms in with us. our house is very long, and neither one of us wanted to get up in the cold to go to her when she was waking in the night when we first moved here. if she wakes, DH is still the one to get up to her - even though her bed is on my side fo the room! He is the SAHP now, and will try and resettle her without disturbing me too much. not that it works - i am still awake the whole time she is - but it's nice that he does it!

he's never complained about it at all. in fact, he told his bestie "we brought her into the world together, we'll both do the parenting - even the bad bits like midnight wake ups"!

when he worked away, i did it all solo, but the minute he was home again,he just stepped in. he didn't have to - i could have continued doing it - but he wanted to

so i guess after all that waffle! there is no issue for us with lost sleep due to bub. we've both been the sahp while the other works, and we simply accept that it is what it is. sometimes you don't get a full night sleep...

[luna moth]

We never turned on a light, and didn't leave the room at all for the first 8 months of DD's life. She only discovered my bedside lamp on Sunday morning (at 16 months old) and thinks it is the most miraculous thing EVER.

I fed in bed, lying down, all the time. When she moved into her own room, then I fed on the couch in the room between us, and then when we moved house and had room for a feeding chair in her room, I fed there.

Baby Led Attachment is a great way to go to help you trust your baby to get the attachment right by herself. We did this and have neve even had to think about it.

ETA: Our spare bed is in the garage. It's not that comfortable, but that's his choice. He didn't get up for the first 5 months, I didn't ask him to, but now we split it 50-50 (we only get a night waking once a week at most)

[jacklicky]

DH can sleep in the spare room if he is too distracted....but honestly with DD he just slept through it all.....
Im like you if I have to be getting up and attending to bubs all night I want him/her to b e as close to me as possible so Im not freezing either of our butts off!