Yes I meant bed sharing. Sleeping with a baby on the couch is not safe. A flat surface free of pillows and soft doonas is what you need. Get a laptop and watch iview or download movies. Feed lying down and take snacks and water to bed.

I cried a river of tears in those early weeks while adjusting to motherhood. I used to think I heard dd crying even when she wasn't. I had anxiety about so many things, and for me breastfeeding was hard going due to oversupply and nipple damage.
But. I got through it and do will you. It took 6 weeks for me to totally feel besotted with dd. which is very, very normal.

Do what you need to survive these early weeks. Your honesty is helping others already.