Saying No!!

[Mak]

People can be so selfish can't they? My IL's pounce on our DD's and there is heaps of clucking and cackling - and then wonder why they both cry! Apparently is something I must be doing wrong.... I also get really annoyed when the kids get passed around to random girls the BIL's want to impress. (oops this is not sposed to be about me...)
Ridiculous really - I have started to be quite blunt with what is acceptable - if it is not ok with you then it is not ok! Stick to your instincts - as you will be the one having to deal with the unhappy bub. It is much easier to say than do though....
Sometimes you just need people to listen - rather than 'help' - thank goodness for BB!!!

[Jellyfish]

Oh, I absolutely hate this! It is so frustrating. I especially love how they try to make it out like they are doing us a favour!!

[Moi]

I got so mad reading it too! I had a situation once where my FIL's partner just snatched my DD right out of my arms, without asking! I had no idea she was going to do it. And then I felt like such a bad mum for letting someone snatch her out of my own arms! My DD cried and cried and cried. And the stupid partner kept trying to settle her and saying "oh she must have wind". No she just wants to be back with me!! Some people are so thoughtless.

I agree with using the HAB. And when it came time to feeding her I'd find a spare room somewhere and not tell anyone that I was going there.

[amberj]

Ooooooooooooooh, this really, really, really annoys me. I HATED it when people would pass Peter around. Whether for good or bad, he is pretty placid and didn't mind being held by other people, so I coulnd't even say "he's upset and needs mummy". It just baffles me that other people feel they have the right to hold your child like they are a toy, to fill some need in themself. Ugh, I could so go on and on about this

You can always try telling them she has reflex and will probably vomit on them!!

All I can say is, it does get better as they get older. It seems to me like the younger the baby, the more people want to hold them. As DS has started to crawl around and wriggle and try to grab people's food and just generally be a kind of normal, grotty toddler, people pretty much are not interested in getting too close!

[angelaartsstudent]

I am SO anxious and worked up over this happening in the near future.

My mother already talk about having her "turn" with the baby.

I'M NOT HAVING THE BABY JUST SO YOU GET TO HOLD IT. GO STALK SOMEONE ELSE.

[Nadine216]

F off!!!!! Oh there DH would just step in and choke the bat.

I hate it when ppl just grab bubs out of my arms. I especialy don't like my SIL's dad ... creepy dude!!! He LOVES holding babies and it does not help that he does not yet have his own grandkids. I would just hold dd/ds tighter and say, I'm sorry he needs to go to sleep now/just had a feed/have to get his diper changed (even if i just did it) ... and smile sweetly.

On the other hand... my MIL ALWAYS wait for permission to pick up ds. HE will be throwing a fit in his snug and safe and I'll be like "MOM pick him up" and she be like "Oh, can I pick him up, thanks" Some rules don't apply to family!!!

[shellbell3]

I've been in situations like this. I just take bubs and walk off and go somewhere quietly. Even if you have to go sit in your car to feed her peacefully.
I remember with Ash her crying being overtired and I'd get 'no she's bored' and the them trying to stimulate her when she is obviously tired! I had to pretty much just remove her from them and walk off without a word and went sat on my own to calm her down.
The HAB is great cause no one bothers you then, wish I had one with Ash, if they're in the pram everyone wants to get them out but in the HAB they leave you alone.

[beckoes]

how RUDE!!! i cant belive people would be like that, i didnt have too much trouble like that as i dont have lots of family over here. i liked what your DH said ''we actually like looking after her'' i often think that when people offer to 'give me a break' i think 'a break from what?' lol hope you dont have to deal with that again!!!

[Jellyfish]

I actually had a dream about this last night. In the dream, I was at a family gathering and DD had just had her 2 months jabs. Everyone was asking for a hold but I kept saying no because she was still a bit unsettled from the doctor visit. Eventually, one person just came up and started trying to grab her out of my arms!! I looked to others for support but they all just said I was being stupid. It wasn't a very nice dream!

[Smoz]

oh this makes me soooo mad! but glad im not alone!!!

I have become very rude and firm...the best line is "have you washed your hand" and they say yes andi ask when, when they last went the bathroom and what have you touched since then? and ramble of a list of things with germs (stearing wheel is the best from sneezing then putting your hand back on it!) and they are usually so confused by that time they either walk off or go and wash their hands and whilst they are washing i make my escape...

I grabbed an old womens arm in the shops once as she was bending down into my pram about to stroke Tallons face so i grabbed her hand and very politely said please dont touch my baby, its nothing personal but i dont know you or where your hands have been....she was actually really good and just "oh sorry my dear i do get carried away" and just waved and talked to him.

Also NYE when tallon was 5wks old and asleep in his pram my friend asked when he's going to wake up for cuddles and i told her he wasn't because he was asleep for the night now....came back and she had picked him up out of the pram!!!! whilst he was asleep!!!!! so of course he woke up and cried so i went took him off her and said "thank you very much for ruining my new years wtf would you pick up a sleeping baby just so YOU can have cuddles? are YOU going to start Lactating and get him back to sleep? are YOU now going to leave the party so that he can get a proper sleep? are YOU now going to spend new years home alone just you and your baby? NO well F off and dont touch my baby EVER again" so yes i was very mad at her and she apologised the next day and said she wasn't thiking but still grrrrr

[Smoz]

oh and i second just keep hold of them.....then the other person looks silly and if they try and pull them out (and they do :roll: ) just say loudly "excuse me would you mind not ripping my baby out of my arms" and they say "but i just want a cuddle" and i say "go and find your mum"

[aussienic]

I hate when people do this. It drives me mental. I just say No. I don't want bub passed around, as she/he gets super cranky.

When my DS was 8 months old we had to go north for a funeral and the people we were staying with thier son had just had a baby (well his girlfriend) and the bub was 3 days old and it was pased back and forward to everyone. Each time the baby somehow ended up in my arms I would walk over and pass him back to his mum and say here go hide lol...

[Janie]

My DS was a pretty unsettled baby, and he was heaps worse if he got handed from person to person. I was actually very happy for everyone in our families (and our friends too) to handle him, as long as it was a good day . If he was having an unhappy day, then no. And he generally was unhappy at family gatherings because he hated all the noise, it totally over-stimulated him. So I was a b!tch, a meanie, and I would say 'enough's enough, he needs to come to me/his dad, or go in his pram now". Or "he's not very happy today, so he's just staying with me, I don't want him passed around".

I think our families (particularly mine) all thought I was very precious about people holding my baby, and that I would be like that forever. Not so, as he's gotten older and knows who they are etc etc, I'm happy for him to go to their houses, be looked after by them etc. I just didn't want him getting freaked out as a baby. Mummy is in charge, and if mummy says no, that's what goes!

[tellytubby]

just say loudly "excuse me would you mind not ripping my baby out of my arms" and they say "but i just want a cuddle" and i say "go and find your mum"

hahahahahahah!! That just cracked me up!!! what a great come back!!

[Snowy Love]

We had a talk at pregnancy yoga today about going nappy free (elimination communication) & I thought that would be the ultimate way to ensure your baby wasn't taken away from you by overzealous rellos.

[Heaven]

Well, DD had her christening on the weekend so we had heaps of relatives up for a few days. Turns out the ones I thought would be bad were great and the ones I thought would be good we so annoying!!!!!!!

Who thinks it's ok to stick their grotty finger in a little babies mouth!!!!!!!! WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Pretty Butterfly]

Well, DD had her christening on the weekend so we had heaps of relatives up for a few days. Turns out the ones I thought would be bad were great and the ones I thought would be good we so annoying!!!!!!!

Who thinks it's ok to stick their grotty finger in a little babies mouth!!!!!!!! WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Babe, thats exactly why I am the nazi mum!!!

How bloody disgusting!!! Would she like someone to stick their finger in her mouth??? EEwwwwww, I would of gone off my tree....

[alioops]

:yeahthat: That is pretty gross!!! I would have done it back to that person too.