I need help. But first I must ask that any replies are non judgemental and helpful. If you think I'm a massive failure you can kindly keep that to yourself, please.

DS has just turned 2. We are struvgling with his temper. He's ALWAYS been a screamy child. I mean always. They say babies are born with a clean slate but it feels like someone has scribbled all over his in bright red chalk. Was it something I did? I don't know. Do I not love him enough?

I can't take the screaming any more. It doesn't matter what strategy I try. DP and I are both at our wits end and feeling really disconnected. it's awful and the guilt is intense. He doesn't just scream tho. He hits. kicks. throws toys. scratches. bangs his head on things.... I feel bad for even thinking it but what the f*** is wrong with my boy?!

every day I try to start over. I'm calm.. loving.. attentive. we play together. I sing songs and dance with him. but the instant I neex to break focus on him.... to go to the toilet... to get a drink of water.... or just to get up off the floor and stretch without him clinging onto me he CRACKS it. and I start to fall apart. I spend so much energy trying to avoid tge tantrum. . I fear I'm teaching him that behaving like a miniature psychopath is the way to control mummy and command her attention. so I tyr the other approach. the tough love approach. I ignore. I tell him no. I explain briefly why and how in simpke terms. I put him in his room for 5mins so I can swear loudly.

I've lost it so many times. I know it doesn't help but im going insane. Ive smacked in certain circumstances. especially wgen he hurts me physically. I get it doesn't work..... but nothing does!! ive yelled. screamed. slammed doors. and I hate myself for it. We have no support from family or friends. It's been 3 years since DP and I went out to dinner or a movie. I'm gettinv so anxious and depressed trying to do this without a village around us. Where the f*** is my village?!

I need practical strategies to get his behavior under control. ones that don't involve giving in to his demands for cobstant 24/7 attention and to be held all the time. but also ones that don't incorporate vile temper explosions of my own. Where is the middle ground? And when do you seek help from medical professionals to rule out possible developmental/sensory problems?

Somebody help.