What am i missing?

[Mak]

Non existent sleep here too - it is awful and certainly changes my ability to cope and be sensible after a while. DH was not great at understanding and still struggles to 'get' how hard it is, mainly bc he doesn't do it.
Similarly the me time only happened after #2 was a bit older and I put my foot down.
I never said much to anyone else as it just made me feel worse, like I was a failure and DH was an insensitive twit.
Take care - the house work will be there when you feel up to it (never here ) and I learnt to do a few emergency meals for the freezer to take the pressure off days/weeks that challenge you.
Perhaps try to get some protected time when you are feeling better and more able to talk to DH. Even if it is one sleep in per fortnight/month whatever that means you are off duty. It is hard with little ones - and sometimes there are no easy/obvious answers. Sorry not much help -take care and one step at a time.

[Party-of-five]

Im sorry i dont have any helpful advice...DD2 is being a PITA too
Im looking forward to going to hospital in a few weeks for a night off

[onthefly]

First, you DH needs a reality check.
Your DD2 is obviously quite different to DD1. Based on my limited experience, she sounds quite normal.
I don't think you've missed anything really, I think this is just the way she is. Sometimes the best thing you can do is just go with it, ride it out. Racking your brains to figure out what's 'wrong' and trying every remedy under the sun can leave you even more exhausted than you already were.
Approaching 6 months they often get a spike in separation anxiety, perhaps that's part of it? It'll ease off in time. How is she when you're not around? Could you try a short trip out without the kids as a sort of trial run? She might surprise you and wait very patiently for you to return before demanding milk (or if she's really hungry maybe she'll take the bottle then).
Sounds like you've done a great job of mothering her - she's calm and happy with you. In time the reassurance she derives from you will allow her to feel secure in all situations. If you saw my son today you would not believe the clingy little thing he used to be (I can hardly believe it).
I hope you can figure out a way to get some time out, you do definitely need that.

[BrightSparkles]

couldn't read without offering
Its hard i can relate on so many levels!

lots of xxx

[indie24]

Couldn't read with out offering some support. You are doing a great job. Your DD obviously feels loved and secure with you. Hoping you get some "me" time soon

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

Thanks so much everyone, i think i am just so so tried and drained and i know it's normal and each child is different but i hate to see her upset.
I wish i could say 'the dishes will be there when i'm ready' but DP wouldn't accept that and sometimes i think he thinks i am making excuses.
If this is who she is then i love her no matter what, i just wish instead of those horrible pearcing screams she had a nice quiet little girls voice...

[Arcadia]

My dd was/is a mummy's girl. Do you have a sling? DD spent her first year strapped to me while I did things because she just needed to be close. Can you cosleep with her until this phase passes? Its madness to traipse the hallways when they wake more than twice. If DH doesn't like cosleeping, can you sleep on a mattress on the floor, or kick out DH to the couch?

It is normal for bubs to wake more frequently when you introduce solids. I know some people say it will reduce night feeding, but in my experience, it lead to more wakings...because their tummys need to get used to it.

You are doing a fabulous job. I know the house isn't perfect, but seriously, the happiness of your children is more important. I would trial a sling and see if you can at least got your normal dishes done etc...and then ring all the relatives and ask them to pitch in for a cleaner for a year instead of giving you or DH birthday/christmas prezzies! lol.

It wiill pass. Your DD is perfect, and you're a great mum. You need more support. Can any local BBers help you out? Can someone take DD for a walk in the sling and the big DD in the pram so you can go to the gym??

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

My dd was/is a mummy's girl. Do you have a sling? DD spent her first year strapped to me while I did things because she just needed to be close. Can you cosleep with her until this phase passes? Its madness to traipse the hallways when they wake more than twice. If DH doesn't like cosleeping, can you sleep on a mattress on the floor, or kick out DH to the couch?

It is normal for bubs to wake more frequently when you introduce solids. I know some people say it will reduce night feeding, but in my experience, it lead to more wakings...because their tummys need to get used to it.

You are doing a fabulous job. I know the house isn't perfect, but seriously, the happiness of your children is more important. I would trial a sling and see if you can at least got your normal dishes done etc...and then ring all the relatives and ask them to pitch in for a cleaner for a year instead of giving you or DH birthday/christmas prezzies! lol.

It wiill pass. Your DD is perfect, and you're a great mum. You need more support. Can any local BBers help you out? Can someone take DD for a walk in the sling and the big DD in the pram so you can go to the gym??

co-sleeping doesn't work for me, don't get me wrong i love the cuddles but she wakes a lot more often when i am in a room with her, she has been in my bed the last 4 nights and it's driving me insane, i get a sore back or arm from sleeping around her etc.
She seems to feed to sleep of a night now then in her cot and she's waking when i go to bed 9i don't check on her or anything she just seems to know), i go in and give her a quick feed and then put her back into bed but 5min later she is screaming and wanting me or wanting to settle on the boob.

I have only just introduced solids because of this behaviour so i am not sure if it is adding to it in any way, will be intersting to see if she gets worse

A cleaner would be awesome but i am not a fan of other people doing the work or going through my things, i know it soudns strange but i couldn't even let people help me pack to move... it's odd i know..

It would be great if someone could take the girls for a walk etc but we live outside of town and there are no footpaths out here, DD is happy in the pram but we don't really have relo's that can just drop by and take them.
I would love if someone could come and watch them so i could go to the gym but as she wont take EBM or a dummy it's a bit hard on peoples nerves when i leave the room and she doesn't stop screaming

Hopefully it will pass and she will be like her big sister who happily waves at me when i leave her at nanna's...