You know what I think makes a good parent? Always wanting to improve from yesterday's effort.

I did some things with DS that i wish I hadn't done (ie, controlled crying) and I swear that is why he is the way he is now at 2.

So I haven't repeated the behaviour. With DD, she does NOT cry to sleep, or hardly ever gets the chance to cry at all. We give her lots of cuddles and kisses and aren't afraid to have her in our bed, or pick her up if she wants us.

This has made me a better parent. Seeing what I did "wrong" the first time, and rectifying it.

To do the same again - would make me a bad parent. You can't learn from your mistakes if you never make any in the first place. Parenting isn't something that comes naturally to everyone - and if the only example of parenting we have to go by is what we have seen from our parents - then we have to make mistakes to see what we can do better.

I too, like RF and CM, have felt disconnected from DS. Its only recently that I actually can acknowledge that he is mine, because I haven't felt it before.

Learning how to do something a different way - a better way - every day is what makes me a good parent.

(I think so anyway )