why did you have the number of children you have?

**meow** · June 20th, 2012, 04:47 AM

We decided on 2, with the disclaimer that we would possibly have the "accidental 3rd" anyway. My H is one of 5 and he thought 3 was a good number but I talked him into having 2. I am one of 3 but my younger sister is 13 years younger so I grew up mostly as one of 2 and never had an issue with it. Neither of us wanted an only child as we both love our siblings and wanted them to have each other. I figured parenting 2 would be best for travel and better for the environment.

After having one though I knew I wouldn't feel finished after 2. I warned my H I didn't think I'd feel done when #2 was born and I didn't. Now we're up in the air about #3. If we do have another it wont be for at least another year... perhaps we'll just end up with an oopsie after all!

***EJ*** · June 20th, 2012, 07:36 AM

I am one of two (i have a brother), DH is 1 of 5 (3 brothers and a sister) DH never really said how many he wanted but before children i always said 3 or 4. Then DS came along and i said 'no more'

Knowing we'd always have atleast another one

Then once DS2 arrived our discussions resulted in that we were happy with our two beautiful boys. Then we had our surprise. Initially i was quite unsure about being pregnant as we'd planned the boys, the surprise made me feel a bit guilty about not planning her, not not wanting her but not 'making her happen' Does that make sense?? So i struggled with that a little bit in the beginning but it wasn't long before the pregnancy was embraced by all. DD came along and while it's been a challenge, her in herself and being a mum of 3 young ones i have loved it so much and enjoyed her thouroughly. I can't imagine life without any of my children.

As a PP said when i 'thought' i was done having DD ignighted the want for more in me, but i don't think it will happen

For one DH is pretty determined about not wanting anymore and financially it's pretty tight as it is. I'm home with the kids where i want to be but finding it really difficult to survive in this economic craziness. I also wonder about my own capabilities and being able to keep up with 4. But i really want to do it... Maybe in another few years time... We'll see

**Tinks** · June 20th, 2012, 07:56 AM

I have 3 kids because I am super fertile, apparently even the pill and depo can't stop me from conceiving. I didn't want any children.

**Muffy** · June 20th, 2012, 09:01 AM

Lol tinks, was about to say the same thing!
I didnt want kids at all, I told my family I wanted to be an aunty and thats it..
But it turns out I am super fertile and now I have DS and DD

I *think* I want 1 or 2 more, but will not have any more once I turn 30!

**Rowellen** · June 20th, 2012, 09:19 AM

We decided on two. When DS was born I was tossing up the idea of 3. DH was adamant on 2. After month 5 of TTC DD, I decided 2 would be it. I hate TTC. I hate being pg. I'm not a naturally maternal person. I love my kids to bits but I think had we not decided on two beforehand, I would have stopped at one as I really struggle on a day to day basis. I'm glad we didn't as I love my precious girl to bits. DH has now had a vasectomy so 2 is it. I'm very happy with that decision. Reasons for deciding on two were partly financial but mainly desire to not have an only child as even though I have siblings but a largish age gap so felt like an only child most of the time without the benefits of one-on-one parent time so very lonely. I wanted them close together for this reason. Had things gone my way they would have been only 20 months apart instead of 26.

**RockingBaker** · June 20th, 2012, 09:19 AM

I never wanted kids until I accidentally fell pregnant with DS. I thought 3 would be nice then had triplets (so 4). When they were 5 months I got clucky and DH was all for it so we had number 5. After Soph passed away I was obsessed with having number 6 (something we had discussed before she passed away but hadn't made up our minds). I'm now pregnant with our final baby (number 6) I never imagined I would have so many kids but I do love it for all the craziness. It's exciting to be done with having kids so young, DH and I didn't want large age gaps and no more kids over 25. When Speck is born DS will be 4.5 and DDs will be 3.

**Rowellen** · June 20th, 2012, 09:20 AM

I have 3 kids because I am super fertile, apparently even the pill and depo can't stop me from conceiving. I didn't want any children.

This happened to my cousin too. She did want kids though, just not 3 under 3 at 22 lol!

**~clover~** · June 20th, 2012, 09:39 AM

Well, I wanted 2. I had it all planned. A girl, then a boy & I'd be done.
Didn't DD2 throw a spanner in the works!!

So, we went back for the boy. We got him! Life was pretty sweet (mostly)

Then the suprise... I always said I'd consider another if I could guarantee a boy. But I couldn't, so wasn't interested. I now know I was definetely done at 3, but I am enjoying number 4 just as much as the rest of them

**Trillian** · June 20th, 2012, 09:54 AM

Just found this old thread. Interesting, and also funny to see people's responses and how many kids they ended up having

I'm sticking with my answer of 4!

Well I still only have 4 and the gate has been well and truly locked to keep the horses in

Dh had a vasectomy when DS2 was only 5 months old.

**Charlotte91** · June 20th, 2012, 09:54 AM

For us, we always said we wanted 3.
But, after finding out DD had a birth defect, which occurance is about 1:8000 in Australia, we were devestated knowing that our chances of having another baby with Gastroschisis has skyrocketed to nearly 1:5.
After falling pregnant with this baby, after suffering an early loss, I knew it would be my last. A counted down every hour to my 20w scan, praying that we would see a clear umbilical cord insertion.
This baby is healthy and growing perfectly, but everyday scares me. I'm not emotionally stable enough to carry babies.
My family has suffered through 2 2nd Trimester Stillbirths (the loss of my sister in 1990 and my niece in 2009) and that scares me, too. I don't want to to go through the loss of a child, having come so close to it many times before with DD.

**Jellyfish** · June 20th, 2012, 10:39 AM

I didn't want any. After DD1, I was a little upset I wouldn't be able to give her a sibling but resigned myself to having only one and by the time I started dating DP, I was firm in my conviction that I was done and urging him to really consider if he would be happy with just DD1 also but then woops DD2 came along as the most wonderful surprise. We are happy with 2 but are leaving our options open until DD2 is a little older, we occasionally look on the idea of 3 fondly but then I remember I have to push it out lol.

**Liz** · June 20th, 2012, 01:10 PM

I want 3, DH wants to stop at 2 (esp since #2 is a girl). However, coz I keep talking about #3, I've actually caught him out a couple of times talking about having 3 kids! hehe. He's slowly moving towards 'we'll see how we feel' rather than a flat out no.

That being said, I too am looking forward to moving on to the next phase, like Tracey. I'm looking forward to the kids being old enough to appreciate camping & holidays & outings etc. So who knows, maybe I'll feel satisfied at 2 when #2 is born.

(I despise the pigeon pair comments tho

and people assuming we'll stop at 2 coz we'll have one of each gender. Maybe that's making me determined to have 3 too lol)

hahaha... I quite clearly won that battle

**misty** · June 20th, 2012, 01:32 PM

I'm one of six kids. My family was the poorest of the poor (literally relying on the help of charities for dinner at time). But it truly was / is such a tight knit involved loving family. I cann't imagine a better childhood except one with more money so mum and dad didnt have to stress as much.

So I always grew up assuming I would also have at least six kids. Think we might stop at five..... Shhhh.......

**MrsFabuloso** · June 20th, 2012, 01:38 PM

DH and I both come from families with 3 children, though the gap between me and my bro's is 9 and 10 yrs, so I always felt like an only child. I always wanted a little sister! Because of that,I always wanted 4, but DH only wants 2. We did agree to three, but after having DD DH is now saying 'we'll see', meaning he is leaning towards 2 more than 3. The few weeks after having DD I was convinced she's be an only child!! But, I am now more convinced that I want three rather than 4. Though finances and living situations are a concern to me, especially as we are currently living in a 2br unit!! Hopefully by the time #3 comes (if it comes...) we will have a house and another car, hehehe...I also always wanted to have finished having my bubs by the time I was 30, but since I am 29 in a few weeks,and only one baby down, I don't think that will be happening, unless twins are in store for us??? Maybe we can move those goal posts to 35?!

Wow, so funny to look back at this! #3 did come along, I managed to convince DH. We moved and now live in a 5br house and have another car.
I would still love #4, but DH is dead-set against it. There is no convincing him this time!

**RhiChiChi** · June 20th, 2012, 05:26 PM

I originally wanted a large family, probably four kids. I am one of four (we don't see our half sister though), DH grew up an only child but has 4 half sister and 3 half brothers. He wanted two. When we had trouble conceiving DD, I was happy to just have her but yearned for another child, which has taken a loooong time (well for us anyway), so looks like it will be just the two, although I have though about a third whilst pg atm. I *think* I could convince DH if I really wanted to but financially I don't know how we'd go