I'm going to post this in a few places but I'm hoping that someone might be able to give me some ideas and or help because I am at my wits end with Ivy.

Ivy has never been very good with sleeping. She does have issues.She was born at 30 weeks, with residual apnoeas. (Normal for prems).She has had reflux since she was 3 months old and has been on Losec for just about as long, although we are trying to wean her off it now, as a side effect is stomach cramps. She is an allergic baby, with lots of sensitivities to food. She is allergic to cows milk. She has eczema and asthma (although the asthma is only exacerbated when she is unwell). She has recurrent middle ear infection and we are going to see an ENT at the end of March for probable grommets. So all these things could be a factor as to why she never sleeps.
I know she is overtired. I know I am too. I have been to the GP and to the paed, who have given me bad jokes, a prescription for myself for a block of chocolate and a good cry and easy cliches' all of which are unhelpful.

Also, Lily, my now 8 year old daughter was a poor sleeper until the age of three, so I had no expectations of babies sleeping through at all, but her wake ups were easy. She settled well, despite waking up and often, it was just reassurance that Mummy and Daddy were there. Ivy's sleep or lack there of, is a totally different ball game.

Here is Ivy's usual day/night pattern over a 24hour period.

4am - 5am - wake up, have a bottle, start the day.

6am, we're usually up out of bed because I can't listen to her complain in her cot anymore or I am over her climbing all over me in bed, kicking, scratching, eye gouging, rolling...you get the picture.

By 8am she is getting tired but will not settle to sleep because the big kids are still home.

Between 9 - 9:30 I put her down for a morning sleep. By this stage she is crying and clingy so I know she needs to sleep. Won't settle in my arms, in the cot and lately doesn't want to be touched while she is settling. Just wants me in the room.
Sleeps for 20 minutes and will not resettle. Occasionally she will sleep for longer, up to an hour, if I am very lucky.

Up, drink, morning tea. Play She is VERY active and doesn't stop moving the whole time she is awake but is constantly rubbing her eyes. By lunch time she is slowing down, getting grizzly again, putting her head down on the floor. I know she is tired.

11:30 - 12 ish is usually lunch.

At 1 - 1:30 ish I attempt her second sleep.

I just need to pause here to let you all know that Noah has himself on a very strict routine of sleep. He goes down at 9am and sleeps until 10:30 - 11am and then again at 1:30 and usually sleeps until 2:30 - 3pm,he goes to bed at around 7:30 - 8pm at night and (most of the time)sleeps through, so I am roughly trying to get Ivy to sleep at the same times. Noah is currently asleep and Ivy is barking, like a dog, in her cot. *SIGH*

Anyway, sometimes Ivy sleeps and sometimes she fights it and at 3pm when the kids start to come home I give up. When she sleeps, again, it is usually only 20 minutes.

She then proceeds to grizzle and grump her way through the afternoon/evening. Sometimes she will sleep in the car when I am doing after school activities but these are rare occasions and if she does it is only while the car is in motion. As soon as we stop (even for traffic lights)she'll wake.

As you can imagine, the dinner bath and bed routine is a total disaster. Thank goodness my other kids are older and can help me and that Noah is such an easy going baby. Still by the time it's all over, I am frazzled. Most days I put dinner on in the morning, so I don't have to cook and other little things too, that you learn along the way so that you cope with everything that goes along with having seven children. Don't get me wrong, this is NOT a complaint. I love my kids and would have more if I could. I'm just writing it all down, so you get a whole picture.

About 7:30 is when I try to settle Ivy. By that time David is home, the big kids are settled, have been bathed, fed etc and are having their down time. Sh is usually asleep by 8pm.

She then wakes again at 10:30 - 11pm and from there it is a constant battle to get her to resettle.
I have had three nights when she slept through. All single occasions. All when she was very unwell, oh and a week of almost constant sleeping last July, when she was in hospital, with bronchiolitis, on oxygen.
She doesn't just wake and cry or call out for attention. She wakes and screams like she has had a fright or something and continues the full on wails until she exhausts herself.
Some nights are better than others.
For the last three nights though, she has woken at 11pm, 2am and 10:30 pm for a repeat performance of what I have described above.

Here is what we have tried so far. Some of the things are not good choices and have been last resort measures but they haven't worked either. Just so you know, I don't feel good about them but after 16 months of minimal sleep (and more before the twins' birth due to pregnancy anxiety) I am so tired I am willing to try anything.

Over the last 16 months we have tried...

Rocking, cuddling, singing, walking the floorboards, patting, rewrapping, leaving unwrapped, sleeping bags,Hug a bub, co sleeping, cot in our room, cot in her own room, different cot, dummy, no dummy,more fluids, checking that she's not too hot, not too cold, less food at dinner, more food at dinnerand all the self settling techniques like putting baby to bed awake and being guided by what the baby needs (eg; she'll sleep if she is tired), all the Tresillian, Karitane based techniques and here are the things that I wouldn't normally do but have over the last few months, weeks and days... controlled crying, and using a phernergan regime (advocated by the paed).

So that's it, girls. Sorry it's so long, hope that someone can come up with something new for me to try.

The only other thing that I have done is put her on the waiting list for the sleep unit at our tertiary hospital because I read an article that suggested that prems who had apnoeas in the neonatal period often still have them but rouse themselves. In doing so they are often frightened and disoriented and then get to a stage where they fear sleep. Don't know if that is Ivy but at this stage I want to cover all bases.

Thanks for reading.