do u talk to your kids about the behaviours you want and dont want?

[~Kim~]

Is she lazy or is there a reason behind that?
That seems really irresponsible to me....there are rules when you are an adult and if you are never thought to respect any rules or boundaries, how the heck can you manage as an adult?
Not only that, surely she can that her children behave differently (like outta control) to other children.

I think you approached it admirably. Perhaps your next chat with her suggest that the fact that they have no boundaries, particularly in relation to their own safety makes you anxious and feel unable to look after them properly? I really don't know..that's really tough.
I agree with LZ too. YOur house, your rules. If they can't follow them, they can't come.

And yes, we talk about stuff with DD in particular all the time. I even use phrases like 'not negotiable' (when it's a safety issue) and 'not acceptable' and then give them the reasons.

[sue1386]

thanks so much. that was all very helpful

today she and her husband were much better telling her daughter not to come out the front door
telling her daughter to talk to me nicely and apologise to me
it still could be much better them preparing their kids to listen to me , and maybe promising a prize if they do
the daughter wasnt around much today and its really her that is the greatest challenge by far.

[~Kim~]

Glad you've gotten some progress hun.
We think children are influenced the most by positive role models, but TBH I reckon adults are just the same.

[~*familyof3*~]

Im like you.I run through things when i drop DS2 at school eg i say" hands and feet?" He says "to myself" i say "what choice's do we make?" he will say "Good choice's". I also pre-warm my boys when were going out. I let them know what is expected and what will happen if they do do that. I think its great to pre-pair a child.

[sue1386]

when a child is asking why why why what what what all day for every single little things probably because they are bored and its just driving you nutes its not learning or inquisitiveness its just boredeom and exhausting,
but you are in a home that doesnt allow dvds

what do you do ?!

[LimeSlice]

when a child is asking why why why what what what all day for every single little things probably because they are bored and its just driving you nutes its not learning or inquisitiveness its just boredeom and exhausting,
but you are in a home that doesnt allow dvds

what do you do ?!

Umm... answer their questions. How old is the child?

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

I tend to find out why DS wants to know why. It's usually boredom. We can do an investigation around his "why". Let him find out "why" by himself. Liebling doesn't really do "why?" though, he started it so I would give him a half-hour degree-level answer and/or run-through of my risk assessment for him. He knows it's a good way of getting my attention!

FWIW, we don't bother with TV most days. Sure it can be useful at 4am when I want to sleep a bit longer. But it's always more hassle than it's worth as DS gets cross if the wrong episode is on the DVD or he won't leave the house when I need to go out. We do a lot more music: either we play the piano, or I play as DS sings along and dances, or we both sing and dance together. Best distraction ever and good exercise for me.

(And yes, this is the child who decided tonight's conversation would be "do we eat..." naming fish, pizza, pasta, chocolate, bananas, apples, bread, water, milk, cheese... poo, wee, a trump, the bin and rubbish. Finding that we can't eat the bin was nearly had him in hysterics.)