Inanna, I truly feel your emotions in every word you write and thank you for sharing so much of your family's story with us. I also fully and completely recognise (and so do good health professionals) the magical intuition of mothers, they just *know* when something is right and when something is wrong with or for their children.

Science is wonderful but to hand our bodies and our children over to it as if on a platter is dangerous. Why? Because we are human beings. We have much more than chemicals. We have integral differences each of us. We are each unique. We have triggers that maybe the next one doesn't. That is why a perfectly "safe" injection of penicillin is fine for you - for me I have an anaphylaxis and end up on life support. (true story)...
Yes, I know Science is not perfect, there will always be risk, but I truly believe it's the best we've got. I think making decisions based on anecdotal evidence doesn't offer us any more protection from that danger at all.