seperation anxiety?

[melham74]

Cooper is 12 mnths old but since he was 10mnths old he has been screaming when other people pick him up ect, even grandparents ect that he see all the time, I have been encouraging them to continue to pick him up ect but to also just sit on the floor to play with him, it is very frustrating and I wish I had some answers just hope they grow out of it soon.

[luua]

Seperation anxiety is so tough for both mum and bubs.

Ella went through it/and is still going through it from 12 months on the dot.

I've been reading a lot about it as its a big thing for her. She used to get so upset when i go into the kitchen...

It seems like its a normal thing and that babies naturally want to be with mum all the time. Nothing beats a cuddle from mum When they are with others they are very aware that its time away from mum (unless they are distracted) As they start to roll, crawl, or walk they will push the boundary and time away from mum more and more.

Ella will now crawl down the hallway of a cafe without having a problem. But when i move away from her in the living room she goes mental.

Just keep cuddling her when they need it. They feel more confident by themselves when they are full of cuddles and love.

But if you have to go. Get you grandparents (if that's the case) to hold her tightly and take her for a walk around the room. Distraction is best they will calm down after a while and eventually they will only grizzle for a minute. Its taken us a few months to get there!

Now we go to daycare and they do the same thing. When they see you again then they want lots of cuddles.

Mum is best.

Ann

[Charlyfrog]

I agree with the distraction of a firm lovely cuddle from someone close.

DD#2 is 9months old and is extraordinarily clingy to the point that I wished we had had the video camera the other day

DH was holding her, DD#2 was complaining so upset and sad. DH stepped close enough to me so she could touch me - in went her thumb and she went quiet and relaxed when I was in touching distance.
DH moved away not more than 5 steps and DD#2 got so so upset so DH moved back next to me. Sure enough, all she had to do was touch me and she'd go quiet and pop her thumb in and relax........actually quite amusing

It does feel ever so lovely to know that someone simply adores you yet its so taxing when you know you have to go and do stuff and your little one seems as though their heart is breaking - not fun for a mummy heart, that's for sure.


With DD#1 we started to use the phrase, "Mummy is coming back" and after a long (long ) while she got it so I was able to move away, even out of sight and DD stayed calm.......bit hard to convince a 9 month old atm. I just am making sure that she is getting used to others looking after her and me either being out of sight or off to the side, but not paying attention.

Understand where you're coming from though love

[~Belinda~]

Sorry to hijack your thread but I need some advice too! Madeleine is 10 weeks old and if I leave the room for 2 seconds, she'll whinge for me, not cry uncontrollably or anything though. She really loves her Mummy! Anyone else experience this?

She co-sleeps too with me...won't go in her cot AT ALL...no matter how hard we've tried (we don't mind her sleeping with us though ATM)...

[bigbird2girls]

Hi Girls,

Both my girls have been through it actually my 9 mth old is still doing it but not as bad now. My DD#1 wanted mummy mummy mummy and would have the biggest tantrum if daddy was to organise her etc. I just persisted and ignored the tantrum - very very hard i must say! eventually she got the message and outgrew it. I thought it would never end. I also used little phrases and cuddles and things to make her feel safe and secure.
Round two started when dd#2 was about 7.5mths but i distract her by giving her toys or an iceblock to suck on in one of those net thingy's (can't remeber the name of them sorry.) Same as Charly Frog I also talk to her and say " Mummies here it's ok." or "I'm not going to leave without you."
little phrases like that is a constant thing in my household at the moment as it seems to make her feel more at ease. I have found though it is good to have DD#1 around to distract her as well. I also give her cuddles and kisses to make her feel secure and safe. She does though love to be cuddled and kissed by anyone so it is more of a wanting more and more i think with DD#2?
Bindy - i can't help you there maybe she wants more and more cuddles from mummy. She is still young though so i wouldn't worry too much at this stage, she may be feeling a little offcolour or something? Hope it gets better for you though i am sure you are enjoying all those cuddles.
The only suggestion is maybe have a close family member come over a few times a week and get them to hold bubba while you are in reaching distance then slowly move back talking to her until you can leave the house and stand outside without a scream or whinge? Keep persisting it is hard but i am sure we will all get there in the end - I hope!!!

Jen

[~Belinda~]

Thanks so much, you've been great help. Yes it seems she really wants Mummy. She is ok with others holding her though and if Daddy is with her, she won't whinge for me...it's only when she is left ALONE really...and of course when I walk past her if Daddy is around, she's really stare at me!

[bigbird2girls]

Yeah thats what My 9mth old does as well, Put her on the floor and if no-one around she whinges etc. i think it is more boredom or she is so use to having someone around her every day due to an older sister she wants the attention. She is alot better now though and can entertain herself more. Maybe that the same with your little one too but she has decided to do it alot earlier for some reason

Hope she gets better son for you though.

jen